Kids Fears Continuing

On Sunday, while Drama Queen and I were making cookies and cooking dinner, I had the radio playing. She wanted to listen to Toby Keith. My kids never listened to Country Music until the last few months. Lego Man loves Rap. It gives me a headache. I know I am getting old when stuff I used to listen to drives me insane. Drama Queen loves Hip Hop. I think I finally converted Drama Queen into listening to Country. She now sings with the radio. Back to Toby Keith...Drama Queen wanted to listen to "American Soldier." She loves hearing it and watching the video. I on the other hand did not want to listen to it. I always get teary eyed. I turned it on and continued making dinner. I turn around and she is sitting there crying. Damn!!!! I asked her what was wrong. She proceed to tell me she doesn't want Sniper to die if he goes back to Iraq. She says if because she still doesn't know he is going for sure. I kept trying to reassure her everything will be all right. I ask her if she knows why he is going. She tells me, to protect our freedom. I let her know it is men and women like him, that not only protect our freedom, but are working to give the Iraqis freedom. How very lucky we are to have the freedom in the USA most people don't have. We take so much for granted and should be very grateful for what we have. I let her know if something should happen to him, he will always watch over us. "But mommy what will happen to you?" By now I have tears streaming down my face (damn emotions). I made a promise to him and I am making a promise to you, I will go on. Life still goes on. We will be sad for awhile, but we will never forget. After she went to bed, I layed in my room and cried. I am supposed to be strong for my children and for Sniper. I don't want to let anyone see this strong woman crumble. I gave myself a little while, then pulled up my big girl panties, sucked it up and went on. To my sweetheart: I love you with all my heart, body and soul. I will remain strong and steadfast until you return to my side. dyzgoneby