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  • About Me

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    Name: dyzgoneby
    Location: California, United States

    I am married to a wonderful Marine and a mother of 5 darling children. Sniper has been home from his second tour in the Shitbox since July 2006. This will be my rants, raves and rumblings with my life with him as a Marine Wife, him dealing with life post Iraq and the Marine Corps next adventure for us. At times I may whine, I may cry and there maybe times I just don't make any sense and you think WTF. These are my feelings and my feelings alone. If you don't like what I have to say, click the "X" in the right corner and move on. Thank a vet for having that choice. If not, sit back and enjoy the peak into my crazy world.

    View my complete profile

    More About Us & My Favorite Posts

    • Things You Probably Don't Want To Know
    • Sniper & My Story
    • One Year Ago
    • A Fairy Tale Coming True
    • Fairytale Wedding
    • Sniper's Reply to The Ass Munch
    • Freedom Is Not Free
    • What We Take For Granted

    My Favorite Pics

    • Engagement Pics
    • Wedding Pics
    • Homecoming Pics
    • Deployment Pics
    • Mohawk Marines

    Previous Posts

    • Still Here and still Adjusting
    • Welcome Home Sniper
    • Sniper is Coming Home Permanently
    • Summer is Over and Changes are Just Around the Corner
    • I Am Done Believing
    • Date Night
    • The Sims have taken over our house
    • Letter to Govenor Arnold Schwarzenegger
    • "Mohawk" Marines
    • Inner Struggles

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    • February 2008

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    Thursday, February 14, 2008

    Still Here and still Adjusting

    It's been almost five months since the last time I posted anything. I just wanted to enjoy the time at home with our family adjusting. I have had so many things I have wanted to post or say, good and bad, but it is been hard to put my thoughts down and publish it. I have kept it all bottled up inside. Sniper keeps commeting that he misses all the posts I use to write. So this one is for you.

    It has been a huge adjustment on all of us.

    Just because someone becomes a civilian overnight does not mean anything will change. Issues that were there do not change in one day. He has been out of the Marine Corps for five months now and it has been difficult, frustrating, sad, depressing, happy, invigrating, joyful...you all get the picture. The Marine Corps is his life and whom he is. Somethings will never change.

    He is at home being a "House Dad" "House Hubby" or my favorite "House Bitch." The kids love having him home all day and I love having him at home too. It has given him time to readjust to a life he hasn't lived in years. It also gives him a chance to heal. Thankfully because we were able to plan for it, it has given him a chance to not worry about the financial part (for now).

    This week has been a long one for us all.

    Monday, was 2 years ago when SSgt Iceman and SSgt Sniper met that fateful day that changed so many lives. A day none of us will ever forget and some that will relive everyday. Anyone who read this blog, knows exactly what I am talking about. You can see it here.

    That day changed the path that has lead Sniper where he is at today (amongst a few others). I watch those eyes of his that burrow into his soul and there are so many times I see the emptiness, the sadnes and the hatred. His eyes tell more than his words. I still sit here day after day unable to help him, still helpless.

    Sniper has a favorite saying "For those who protect it, Freedom has a taste the protected will never know."

    Those words are so true on so many different levels. As a civilain, I will never understand, as a wife I will understand more than most. I relive so many of those times with him. Many things he never wanted me to know. Some he doesn't know or remember I know. Most I have seen through his eyes, his words, his actions and one I have seen through the video.

    Dyzgoneby

    aka Mrs. Sniper
    "Yea though I walk through the valley of death, I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me."

    I hope and pray SSgt Iceman and his family have found some peace.

    posted by dyzgoneby at 2/14/2008 08:47:00 AM 10 comments

    Monday, September 17, 2007

    Welcome Home Sniper

    We finally have Sniper's EAS and it is set for September 30th. He is currently home on Home Awaiting Orders or PTAD (which ever way you want to look at, personally I don't care he is home). We have one more trip to make (together) to Camp Pendleton at the end of the month to pick up his DD214. It will be a difficult trip on all levels, but he will have his wife with him for the silent encouragement he will need. See, we started his career together and we will finish together.

    But the most important part..........SNIPER HAS NOW MOVED HOME!!!!!!!!

    Sniper left Southern Cali Friday night at 2145 and arrived at 0700 Saturday at his final destination. HOME. We spent the weekend getting everyone situated and our eldest son, Bubba, completely moved in. The house and garage look like a bomb went off, but knowing Sniper the way I do, I can bet money it will be in order by week's end if not sooner.

    I now have most of my family under one roof (2 MIA). YEAH!!!!! It hasn't sank in that after 15 years Sniper and I are living in the same town again, let alone now living in the same house as husband and wife (we've only been married 5 months). I have looked at him several times over the last few days and can't believe he is truly home. It will be adjustments on all of us (the hardest one's are on Sniper), but they are positive one's. We now can live as a "family."

    At one point over the last few months, I started to think we were just destined to live forever apart. Not anymore....There will be no more "mini deployments" (are way of coping with the seeing each other once a month). There will be no more dropping the other one off at the airport and saying "see ya soon." There will be no more long lonely nights sleeping apart.

    Well, sorta.....

    He will still have to make a few trips down to San Diego for the VA (hopefully all day trips). That is a whole other process that has been fun for him. However, I am very optimistic at the outcome. The VA sees his combat wounds for what they are, unlike the DoD. The rating should be pretty accurate and will give him/us something for the rest of his life.

    Thank you all for all the encouragement everyone has given to us over the last several months. It has been hard to swallow the way the DoD has treated him, but WE have accepted it. Don't worry we still have some fight left.

    I have been following a Bill going thru right now changing the whole PEB process and how it is done. It will take the DoD out of the rating business and give it to the VA. It will hopefully be retroactive to all those since 911. I will be keeping my eye on this and praying it passes. Like all things with are government it won't happen in the near future, but there is hope.

    Dyzgoneby
    Sniper, Welcome home my love. I have dreamed for so long that I would be able to wake-up every morning in your arms and look into your eyes and tell you I LOVE YOU. Now, that dream is a reality. I love you forever and a day.....

    posted by dyzgoneby at 9/17/2007 06:41:00 AM 8 comments

    Sunday, August 26, 2007

    Sniper is Coming Home Permanently

    Most of you that have followed this pathetic blog, know Sniper came home from Iraq July of 2006 and had a shoulder injury when he was WIA in May of 2006. Which he had surgery on March of this year. You also know Sniper has PTSD that has manifested itself to a whole new level over the last year. Put the two of these together, along with the other "wounds" that he has received over has last couple of tours in Iraq and 16 years of his life in the Marine Corps and it was inevitable, he was put on a PEB Board and being Medically Retired.

    Or so we thought.......

    For those who have never been thru the process, the DoD will review your injuries and give you a rating. The difference in rating's will either give you pay and medical benefits for you and your family for the rest of your life (aka Medical Retirement) or a severance check and send you on your merry way (aka Medical Separation).

    Sniper and I have had over the last few months lengthy conversations and played the what if games. What if the board comes back with this? What if the board comes back with that, do we fight it?

    After a very long and agonizing process, the PEB came back last week. He had 3 days to either accept what the Board gave him or ask for a reconsideration.

    After 16 years of giving his life to the Marine Corps. Sacrificing everything, himself and his family for our Country....He received a Big Huge "FUCK YOU!"

    It was NOT an easy decision, but Sniper decided to sign what he was given and come home.

    He could have fought it, but at what expense? How much longer can he endure the path he has been on? The process to fight it could take months or even years. Would the outcome change from where he is at now? What price would he have to pay to continue to fight it?

    The whole process has made me sick to my stomach. He has sacrificed so much and in the end lost everything. The DoD doesn't give a Flying Fuck about him or anyone else. It is just a bunch of fucking Politician's playing games with people's lives....

    I am going to tell you a story of a 11 year old little girl who understands something the DoD doesn't.

    An Excerpt from her writing:

    "I decided to do this report on my Step-Dad. He is a Marine. The reason I did this report on him is because he never gave-up. He always persevered, even when he got blown up, got shot at and even got pepper sprayed in the eyes while he was fighting a guy. He persevered and kept going back to Iraq.

    Since he spilt his blood for our Country to be Free, he was awarded with a Purple Heart.

    As a Marine he was called, "Sniper" and that is because he handled a gun. Sniper was a fast and great leader. He was always serious and cared about the other Marines."

    This came from a little girl who knows and understands a hell of a lot more than most will ever know. Our kids are Proud of what and whom he is and that is what means more than anything the damn DoD can give us.

    I am too frustrated to write more, but I wanted to let ya'll know where everything is at this point. Sniper should be home within the next 30 days. Unless the DoD continues to Fuck with him.


    Dyzgoneby

    Sniper, I love you with all my heart. Soon this nightmare will be over and you can come home to heal. You can come HOME to start a new life with all of your family.
    xoxoxo
    Your Wife

    posted by dyzgoneby at 8/26/2007 10:30:00 AM 11 comments

    Summer is Over and Changes are Just Around the Corner

    A lot has transpired in the last few months at the Casa and as usual life around here has been crazy to say the least.

    At the beginning of the summer Lego Man moved home. Lego Man has been asking for a long time and over the last six months, he keeps telling me, he wants to stay here. It wasn't an easy decision and one Sniper and I have been talking about for over a year. We were going to wait until Sniper was home permanently, but we talked it out and Lego Man needed to be here and it was the best decision we could have made.

    Now, before you go thinking , "What parent wouldn't want there child to live with them?" It's not as simple as that. My son is Bi-Polar and can be more than just a handful. I knew something wasn't right with him when he was 18 months old and by the time he was 7 he tried to commit suicide....twice. After a long, agonizing stay at a children's phys hospital I brought him home and realized I wasn't what my son needed. At this point I was even contemplating suicide myself. I was beyond exhaustion, physically & mentally. He needed a strong upper hand. How can I say this? My son also has a extreme temper and a violent one to boot. My daughter, Drama Queen and I both have been at the receiving end of it countless time. Yes, we both have been hit, punched, kicked and many of objects (furniture is included in this) have came flying at us from all directions. In the best interest of my son, I let my son move in with his father.....

    After several years of therapy, maturity, and huge help from Sniper he has become a changed kid. Sniper has worked very hard on helping Lego Man to control his temper. Some how the two of them can relate on the violent tendencies that can come over you quickly and how to step back and control them.

    Getting off track here, so back to this summer.....

    July I finished and passed the last of my exams. Now the hard part will start sometime in the near future when I "Flip Over" and become a Financial Advisor. I have been going back and forth over the last several months if I truly wanted this. It's not an easy career, but I have dreamed about if for years. It will be a long road of endless hours away from home and my family. However, I will be able to provide a rewarding future for all of us and it will allow Sniper to enjoy life at home with us....I will elaborate more.

    At the end of July, all our family was under one roof. All FIVE kids, Sniper & I for almost three weeks. Sniper's two youngest boys, Duder and Roo came home from Washington. It was exhilarating and exhausting all at once. The house was never quiet. Even though there is only 7 of us, we always seemed to have at least a few extra kids (either Bubba's friends or our niece and nephews and sometimes a mixture of both).

    WE stayed extremely busy.....endless nights of Family Guitar Hero, a Family Baseball Game, River Cats Game (local Baseball team), Family Movie Nights, BBQ's and Cooking for this whole crew....WOW!!!! Cooking for at least 10 people was a new experience.

    Then you have keeping up with a house with all these people here. Dishes and laundry seem to be the two huge one's. We averaged 2 loads of dishes and at least four loads of laundry a day (I can't wait to see what the water bill we be like, especially adding there were at least 10 showers a day). Sniper took care of the house. Everyday he handed out chores to everyone and if you didn't technically live here (the extended family and friends), don't worry you had your list to do was well. It was cute to come home from work and listen to who had what to do. One of Bubba's friends, at the age of 16, had never done dishes before. Well lets just say he CAN do them.

    We all had a wonderful time together and life was never boring or dull. And that brings us to the present.......everyone is now gone again. Duder and Roo back to Washington, Sniper at Camp Pendleton, Bubba back home and Lego Man, Drama Queen and I in a very quiet house.

    But, there is some changes coming soon. One that deserves a post all of it's own. It has to do with my FAVORITE Marine, Man.......MY husband, Sniper. Stay tuned, you won't want to miss it.


    Dyzgoneby

    posted by dyzgoneby at 8/26/2007 08:37:00 AM 2 comments

    Sunday, July 29, 2007

    I Am Done Believing

    Sorry for the language, but I am forewarning you ahead of time.


    I have finally resolved in my beliefs that this fucking Roller coaster ride we are on is NEVER going to end. I have finally resolved we are destined to live 100's of miles apart.

    I use to believe I would have sometime frame of when it would end. I use to believe I would have some inclination as to when he may be home. I wish everyone would stop asking because I have no FUCKING CLUE. But now.......I ALSO HAVE FUCKING GIVEN UP.

    I JUST GIVE UP

    I have decided I am going to live my life realizing, I have a husband whom I may someday live with before I die.

    For those few of you that still check in from time to time, Sniper is being Medically Retired from the Marine Corps. Well at least he is in the process. A process that can take months, many long months or even years.

    And in that process I have realized he (and most that have gone through this) is just going to have to bend over and take it in the ass with what they give (or lack there of) him as a rating. It makes me physically sick, to see how much he has sacrificed (15 1/2 years), continues to sacrifice for this Country, only to get shit on, on the way out. A big fat fuck you, I mean thanks for playing we are done with you.

    I am beyond frustration at this point. I am beyond understanding. I am beyond being optimistic. I am beyond having a positive attitude. I am just beyond anything at this point.

    So, yes I am DONE and BEYOND believing anymore.


    Dyzgoneby
    Sniper, I am love you with all my heart and that will never change. And get it out of your head, I will never leave you. You are stuck with me here, now and into eternity. I am just done believing in anything anymore.

    posted by dyzgoneby at 7/29/2007 09:57:00 AM 7 comments

    Saturday, July 14, 2007

    Date Night

    Married life is never easy, no matter how much one can think it can be. You throw in a Active Duty Marine, a Civilian wife, five kids and living 100's of miles apart from each other and it can be an extremely difficult road that most can't handle.

    We spend most of our time living apart and when we our together, it isn't just us. Whether we are down in Camp Pendleton together, it's us, his roommates and our friends. When he's home, it's all about family. Us, our kids and our immediate families. But, there really isn't just "Us" time. So, Sniper and I had decided that no matter what, we need us time. We know we don't live the traditionally married life, but we still need our alone time together. We need a "Date Night" once in awhile.

    Last night, I came home from work to find Sniper working in the garage, the house cleaned (you could smell it), and the kids (Bubba, Lego Man and Drama Queen) bags packed and waiting by the front door. I had been looking forward to our Date Night all week. Within the hour, my father-in-law had taken Lego Man and Drama Queen to there Aunt and Uncle's house (they live 3 blocks away and we all spend a lot of time at each other's house). Bubba's mother picked him and his friend Porky up within the next 30 minutes.

    Sniper tells me to go up stairs and relax. Go play Sims. I make a pot of coffee (the last date night, I fell asleep. You know, your typical, getting old, the kids are out of the house and lets fall asleep) and kept telling him I felt very guilty letting him make dinner by himself after he cleaned and took care of the kids all day. He just wanted me to relax. I relented, listened to my husband, grabbed a huge cup of coffee, headed up the stairs into our room, turned the radio on and played Sims.

    About an hour and fifteen minutes go by, Sniper comes into our room, grabs my hand and walks me down the stairs. Here's what I find:



    A table for two, Candles all around, music in the background. Sniper pulls my chair out for me and I sit down to this:

    Do you notice the presentation?

    I am melting inside.

    Sniper has a very romantic side to him. He takes great pride and care in doing things for his family and his wife, me.

    We start eating. Damn the food was incredibly yummy. He made a meal that was perfect.

    I sat there, listening to the music and floods of memories came flooding back. Back to a time when I was 20 years old (16 years ago), my parent's were out of town for a week and we "played" house. He comes home from work, I make dinner for him and we enjoy life together as if we were married.

    I continue to stare into his eyes and my mind reflects back to another time, we spent a week together in a Cabin in the Sierras. I made a romantic dinner for him, dressed up and enjoyed a very memorable night together. I sat there and kept thinking about how that week was the last week we had as us. He left a few weeks later for boot and you all know the history on that one (see here).

    As we finish dinner, I continue to listen to the music, listen to Sniper sing to me, stare in his eyes and know the dreams we shared so many years ago, the dreams we had for us have finally come true. I look around and realize, this isn't just pretend anymore. We are sitting there, as husband and wife in our home. We are home.

    I finish my dinner (I was completely stuffed), Sniper grabs my plate and is completely giddy. He made desert for us as well. He sets down our deserts on the table and this is what I see.



    Desert was shaped in a heart. Notice the strawberries, yes they are cut into hearts as well.

    We continued to talk, reflect on our lives and enjoy our meal and evening together.

    Afterwards, Sniper again takes my plate, pours us a cup of coffee. He then proceeds to clean up the dishes. I am not allowed to touch anything.

    God I love that man. Not because he spoils me, because he surely does. But, he takes pride and care in showing me how much he loves and appreciates me, for me.

    The evening is not over, we decided instead of staying home and cuddling up on the couch we needed to go out. We proceed to our room and bathroom to take a shower and clean up. We had intentions of catching a movie, but it was already 2230 and it was late to go to a movie. So we ended up at a local bar. Had a few drinks and enjoyed each other's company.

    By the time we ended up back home it was 0115. We sat up for another hour just talking. And from that point on, it's something that is between him and I. Needless to say we didn't go to sleep until the wee hours of the morning.

    As I sit here and type this, it's 0950, Sniper is asleep behind me and I am wondering why the hell I am typing this and not enjoying the last little bit of our "Date Night" with him.

    It could be, I know I need to go pick-up our kids and enjoy today with some family time. Sniper leaves tomorrow to return to work, and I to return to missing him and wishing it would be the end of this month, when we have us and all five of our kids in the house for 18 days.

    So here is to a wonderful "Date Night" that I have to hold onto to get me through until the next time.

    Dyzgoneby
    Sniper, my darling husband, thank you for a wonderful evening of us. Thank you for allowing us to return to that dream we have always shared. I love you with all my heart, body and soul.

    posted by dyzgoneby at 7/14/2007 09:56:00 AM 8 comments

    Thursday, July 12, 2007

    The Sims have taken over our house

    Last month I was down in San Diego for awhile and while Sniper and I were out shopping, we picked up the latest version of Sims Deluxe for me. It's a computer game where you get build a city, infrastructure and all, and then play mayor.

    A week goes by and I am back home. I decided I need to get lost in nothing for a while, so I install the game on my computer. Several hours later, I remember why I hadn't played in over a year and had hid the game from myself. I was/am extremely addicted to this damn thing. To the point, Sniper has called me at 0300 and the first thing out of his mouth, "Stop playing with the Sims and go to bed."

    Yes, I will play until 0300 or 0400 and won't bat an eye. Even if I have to be up at 0500 to go to work.

    A few days go by and Lego Man comes in and starts getting all excited when he sees what I was playing. Oh Shit....now he wants to play. I let him know while I am at work during the day, he can have the computer. He also remembers there is cheat codes (yes I do cheat) that you can use to make a better city.

    The last two weeks, Lego Man has called me about every 30 minutes at work asking me how to build something or what the cheat code is. The first few times it was funny, but a few weeks into it and I am getting a little irrated.

    At night, I come home and Lego Man won't give up my computer, he wants to play. Now we are fighting for Sims time.....

    Well, Sniper is home for the week and decided he wanted to play yesterday. A few hours into it, yes you guessed it, he calls me at work to ask how to do something and for the cheat codes. After I got off the phone, I laughed my ass off.

    I get home last night, only to find Sniper sitting in front of the computer and playing Sims. As I watched him for several hours play this damn game he kept up with all the questions of how to do something.

    I think I created a bunch of SIMS monsters and my house is now being overrun....The only catch, I WANT MY SIMS TIME TOO!!!!

    dyzgoneby

    posted by dyzgoneby at 7/12/2007 07:59:00 AM 0 comments

    Saturday, June 23, 2007

    Letter to Govenor Arnold Schwarzenegger

    After being frustrated for over a year and watching the political game a certain Col has played with Sniper not receiveing his second purple heart (the one from his shoulder injury the it took 10 months to receive surgery on) and helping to destroying my husbands career, I decided to write a letter to my Governor & Congressmen. I don't know if anything will transpire from it, but I didn't know where else to turn as a Angry American. I am absolutely disgusted by the way "OUR" military is treated and I going to try every avenue I can to wrong a right.

    So, I thought I would share it with ya'll......


    To: The Honorable Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger
    The Honorable Congressman Daniel E. Lungren
    The Honorable Congressman Darrell Issa

    Gentlemen, I am writing these letters, not on behalf of my husband and not just as a spouse of a U.S. Marine, but as a disgusted American. Please forgive me for bringing these issues to you, but since I am not in the Armed Forces of the United States, I don’t know where else to turn for answers regarding what I see as a despicable injustice to a Marine who happens to be my husband. I will try not to rant and rave, however, these issues are very hard for me since I am a military supporter and I am now married to a Marine.

    The injustice that I am concerned with appears to be some personal vindictiveness and lack of professional leadership when it comes to awarding service members awards for honorable service and bravery. This past year my husband once again volunteered to lead 100 Marines into combat. These were not infantrymen who train to fight wars daily. They were Marines from over 15 different non-combat related job fields and only two Marines had prior limited combat experience. My husband was given these Marines seven days before deployment and led them into Iraq. Their mission was that of a Provisional Rifle Company, which is usually done by infantrymen whose job it is to train for combat patrols, raids and quick reaction force, the real “in your face” combat. My husband spent countless hours training these Marines to the best of his ability with such little time given to him. Just as soon as they arrived into Iraq, they started a turn over with the unit that they were relieving and began combat patrols. My husband lead these Marines on as many missions as possible and while inside of the wire he would take them and train them, using whatever he could find (unused buildings, wood to make barriers, makeshift IED’s, etc). My husband never let them down nor stopped training them.

    During his deployment my husband was wounded in combat on two occasions, and never once left his Marines. He stood there wounded and continued to fight and lead these young Marines until they were all safe and then he sought medical aid. He demonstrated such courage and determination that it flowed into his Marines and at the end of the deployment he was the only one ever wounded. When he was wounded on February 11, 2006 he received 16 internal and 8 external stitches for a shrapnel wound to his leg, but led his Marines on their very next mission on February 13, 2006. His second wound, which occurred on May 19, 2006, required surgery that was done on March 20, 2007. He was the first one out of bed, last one to sleep, the first one outside of “the wire,” and the last inside. That is what my husband did. He did not talk about leading Marines, he LED Marines just as many military “heroes” of our countries past. His selflessness and dedication to his Marines and the Marine Corps has been expressed to me by all of the Marines that I have met who were led by him. To them he is the type of Marine that they aspire to emulate, he is their HERO.

    But all of that came under scrutiny after the media frenzy following Hayditha. My husband was not there, but he was involved in a shooting which turned the tide on him due to all of the media and political attention. The climate seemed to be as if everyone wanted to cover their behinds and lost focus on the mission and taking care of their own, as my husband puts it. He was investigated for one “Escalation of Force” incident three different times. And during all three investigations he was found not guilty. But the investigations were not for killing or hurting anyone. They were about him firing two rounds into the dirt as warning shots to stop a fleeing vehicle, which almost ran over one of his Marines. The powers in place in his command became weary of him and since the incident was not written in the Command Operations Centers log book, 12 miles away from him. When questioned, my husband told the investigators what had happened and that he did order his radio operator to make the call. The radioman acknowledged the order and reported that it was done. Regardless of where the ball was dropped he did not hurt or kill that Iraqi. His warning shots saved his life, as well as showed my husbands ability to think and act under stressful combat conditions and make the right choice.

    My husband is not a “politically correct” type of Marine. He has openly told me that he is not a well liked Staff Non Commissioned Officer. His Marines have told me that it is due to his fearlessness to tell someone what the need to know, not what they want to hear when it comes to missions or his Marines. However, he takes his orders and completes his missions, first and foremost.

    Since his return I have been able to meet over 30 of the Marines that he has lead in battle. All of them have told me the stories of “Their Staff Sergeant” who took care of them, trained them, and led them. I was told of a promise that he made to the Marines prior to them deploying when my husband said, “I will bring you all home!” As I listened to these words I witnessed the tears coming from a young Sergeant’s eyes. He then said, “Staff Sergeant Sniper IS A HERO! He is my Hero. And what happened and is happening to him is wrong and he should be recognized.” At the time I, did not know what this Marine was talking about so I asked my husband. He told me how the Company Commander that he worked for (Capt Tadd Vanyo of the 2/136th Combined Arms Battalion, Army National Guard) had submitted my husband for his second Purple Heart and the Bronze Star with Combat “V” for heroism. My heart filled with pride, but it was quickly flushed away with dismay and disbelief. My husband continued by telling me that after the investigations, the Commander of that base went into the administration office and had the Marines discard his awards. I asked my husband how he knew that had really happened and he told me that a senior Marine that was present contacted him and told him what had occurred. I told my husband that to me he was a “Hero!” And his words back to me truly showed the man, Marine, and leader that he is. He said, “Honey, I am not a Hero, I’m just a patriot!”

    At present my husband is awaiting the findings of his Physical Evaluation Board to see if he will be medically retired due to PTSD/depression and other injuries. When I inquired about his depression in a session with his doctor I found out that it has to do with the character assassination of my husband, the perception of him created by these investigations, and the abandonment of him by his command. He has not been awarded his second Purple Heart for wounds which occurred during a fire fight or the Bronze Star with Combat “V” device which his commander desired to recognize his actions with. These awards are just gone. He has dedicated fifteen and a half years to the Marine Corps and to this Country. It must be horrible to feel like he does after giving so very much. I talked with my husband about this and all he will say is “Honey, they must not think that I deserve them.” Well I can not believe that. I can not believe after all that he has done for this Country, the Marine Corps, his command, and his Marines that he deserves anything but respect and recognition. I can not fathom that his awards were just discarded because of someone’s personal agenda, just in case his issue became Hayditha II. And as the investigations have shown, it didn’t. He did not receive an adverse fitness report, nor was he relieved of his command or duties. He was not charged and found guilty of anything. So his service was honorable. I asked my husband what he could do about it and he told me nothing. He did not whine or whimper, he just said there is nothing that can be done, and to move on. I am sorry, but as an American who supports our troops, who do what this country asks of them, I can not accept that there is nothing that can be done to correct this monumental wrong done to my husband. He has led and bled for the United States and in the end I feel as if his actions and bravery are being discounted.

    I have spoke with many Marines and Sailors who have served with my husband who all have told me that there is something that needs to be done. So here I am, coming to you to seek an understanding of how such a thing could happen to someone like this Marine, who is my husband, and to ask if there is anyway to fix this atrocity against a true American “Hero.” A way to award him for the service that he has given his Marines, his Corps, and his Country.

    My husband is still stationed at Camp Pendleton awaiting the resolution of his medical board, but has made plan to come to Sacramento for the July 12th “Freedom Is Not Free” function on the west lawn of the State Capitol for California’s Iraq & Afghanistan Purple Heart Recipients. I will be standing right next to him, along with our children and his family. I hope that you will be able to answer my questions by then and if you are at the function it would be my pleasure to meet you.

    Sincerely,

    Dyzgoney

    Encl: (1) Casualty Information Worksheet
    (2) Medical Disposition Records
    (3) Summary of Action to award the Bronze Star with combat “V” device
    (4) Excerpts from the Secretary of the Navy Awards Manual
    (5) Contact List of Marines that served with my husband
    (6) DVD video about my husband


    Again, I am hoping something will come of this injustice. I will try to link up the video and if Sniper is ok with it, the Summary of Action to award the Bronze Star with combat "V" device. Both of these have brought tears to my eyes and a since of pride, knowing that MARINE, that MAN is my husband. I love you Sniper.


    Dyzgoneby

    posted by dyzgoneby at 6/23/2007 08:24:00 AM 4 comments

    "Mohawk" Marines



    Just a little more insight into Sniper and his world.

    Dyzgoneby

    posted by dyzgoneby at 6/23/2007 08:00:00 AM 2 comments

    Wednesday, June 13, 2007

    Inner Struggles

    Unsure of where I belong.

    As a wife of a Marine in a Civilian world.......

    I feel like I don't belong. I have a husband whom just happens to be a active duty Marine, living 100's of miles away. Civilian's who have never lived in this life or have a family member in the military, have no fucking clue what it is like. They can't truly fathom or understand what it is like living in this world.

    Coming home from a long day at work and not having your husband to wrap his arms around you, kiss you and just melt all the stress away. I sit here so far away from my husband and miss him so much it hurts. On days like today (which is more times than not), that is all I want. The touch of him just melts all my stresses away, warms my body and heart and makes me forget about everything.

    Fixing a meal, by yourself, for your family. Then sitting down to eat together, with a empty chair where your husband should be. Hearing our children talk about there day and laughing with them. Then looking over and still staring at that empty chair and realizing how much you want him to share in it with you. Laughing with the kids, as they try to clean up the kitchen afterwards, all the while wishing he was hear to laugh with us.

    Helping our kids with there homework and knowing this is something Sniper does when he is home. Watching the kids play video games together as a family and looking over to the empty spot on the couch where he usually sits and watches with us.

    Climbing into bed at night by yourself, knowing he's not there to lay your head on his chest. Cuddling up with his pillows, just to catch a smell of his scent. Thinking he is 100's of miles away doing the same thing.

    It's pretty damn lonely and there is no one around who understands what it is like.....

    Then you have the endless questions that I am so sick and tired of hearing: When is Sniper retiring? When is he coming home? Are you moving down to San Diego? When is the next time you will see him? When is the next time he will be here? How do you do it?

    I hear these questions, so many times a day, it makes me sick to my stomach. I know people mean well, but inside I am just screaming, "Don't you think IF I KNEW the FUCKING answer, you would know!" "Don't you think IF I knew something, anything, I wouldn't be screaming it at the top of my lungs!"

    They just don't get it and I have no one around me who I can relate with.

    I have no sympathy for them because there spouse is going away on a business trip for a few days and they have to take care of the kids and house by themselves. I don't care and don't give a shit that there spouse locked there keys in the car and now they are whining because they have to take the spare keys to them. I don't have empathy for all there whining bullshit about there day to day lives with there spouse and the petty bullshit.

    On the other side as a Marine Wife....

    I again, feel like I don't belong to that world either.

    I don't understand much about how the Marine Corps work. (I am learning, but by the time I have anything of substance down, Sniper will be retired.) When Sniper talks about different aspects of his job or what is going on or this whole fucking PEB retiring shit, I understand very little. That means I have to ask lots of questions. I know Sniper gets frustrated with me, especially when I ask the same question a few times over (mind you he has already answered them at another time), but again, I am learning and there are somethings I just don't fucking understand or comprehend.

    I am not able to share with him anything that deals with him and the Marine Corps. I don't feel like I am part of that life, his life, when it comes to the Marine Corps and that is a majority of what his life is and who he is.

    I am not there for him after a long day at work, to come home to and vent to. He keeps a lot (Sniper, you do more than you realize) to himself or vents to other's around him. I just don't understand that part of his life. Yes, we have the phone we communicate on, but that's not the same, especially when one hates talking on the phone.

    I am not able to share with Sniper all the day to day activities he does or anything his command does for the families.

    I don't understand much about base life. The few times I am down there, I feel like a lost puppy. I don't want to ask for help or directions because then I feel like other Marines just look at me as another "Delta Whiskey" (Dependent Wife). You know, the ones who sit on there fat lazy asses all day, do nothing, don't hold a job, spend there husbands money, wait for him to deploy and go fuck another Marine. (Sorry if I offend anyone, I am not trying to, but I know a few who fit into this or Marines who's ex-wives fit into this category. OK more than just a few)

    I don't have the connections with other Marine Wives. I am not around other Wives whom I can relate with. Those who understand what it is like.

    The only things I can really tell you about is what "Hurry up and Wait" is, the Marine Corps does things at there own pace and deployments suck ass.

    So you see, inside, I feel like I don't know where I belong, where I fit in. I can't relate to either world....

    I feel like I am stuck in limbo. I feel like I am in a deep dark cave and can't find my way out and there is no light to guide me. I am just maneuvering around by touch. And some days, I just feel like I wish the cave would just swallow me up.....

    Please don't misunderstand me. I am happily married and I wouldn't change marrying Sniper for the world. He is everything to me and means more to me than life itself. Life is just lonely and I would give anything to see some glimmer of a light in this cave I/we live in.....


    Dyzgoneby
    Sniper, I love you with all my heart, my darlin' husband. See you in my dreams.

    posted by dyzgoneby at 6/13/2007 08:50:00 PM 6 comments

    Monday, May 28, 2007

    Memorial Day and Sacrifices

    Today, is about honoring those who have sacrificed their lives for our Country, this Country. Those who have made the ultimate sacrifice. Those who have made the sacrifices and carry their scars, whether visible or hidden. Those who have stood by and supported these men and women.

    I have had a family member who has at one time or another sacrificed his life for this Country. A grandfather (Army) who fought in WWII, a grandfather (Army) who fought in the Korean War, two of my uncles in the Air Force, my father (Marine) who fought in Vietnam, my dad (Army) who fought in Vietnam, my cousin (active Army) who fought in Iraq (leaving very soon again) and my husband (active Marine) who fought two tours in Iraq.

    I realize and understand how many sacrifices are Military and their families have made for us for the freedom we share. A concept most civilians whom do not have any connection to the Military (past or present) can truly grasp. I personally am eternally grateful for them.

    Years past, I looked at this weekend and today as just that, another weekend, with an extra day at home. I knew what Memorial Day was, but never truly grasped the whole concept. I was just your average US American that loved the fact, it was one more day off of work. One more day to have a barbecue and party with my friends and family.

    Not anymore. It didn't happen all at once, there were a few things that hit very close to home for me.

    After my cousin served for opening round in Iraq and came home, I saw the changed look in his eyes. That haunted look that will forever change the innocence in him.

    After, Sniper and I rekindled our relationship. I saw that same look in his eyes.

    I stood beside him for his last tour (which seemed like it would never end) and supported him. The long, lonely days and nights of waiting just to hear his voice and know he was ok, he was still alive. The phone calls home (which no one ever wants to hear), letting his family know, he was WIA twice (that rated him two purple hearts). The phone call letting us know, he was coming home WIA.

    Sniper made sacrifices, put his life on the line for his Marines and he is now in the process (on a PEB Board) of becoming medically retired and it will take some time. Time no one has any inclination as to. It may be a few months or longer. The price has been high for him, but they all came home.

    Me, I have stood by and watched silently the demons he fights inside and will continue to harbor for the rest of his life. I have held him on those long sleepless nights. I have held him when the demons get the best of him. I have held his hand or rubbed his back on those days when the haunted memories come back with no warning. I have stood beside him and watched the pain he goes through from the wounds that seem like they will never heal (it's been over a year).

    I have also, watched the sacrifices his family and children have made. His family silently standing beside Sniper and supporting him through the last 15 years he has given this Country.

    Our eldest, Bubba wrote something on his myspace the other day and it brought a smile to my heart and a tear to my eyes. He too has made such deep sacrifices. He wrote:

    Well my dad is my biggest hero no matter what he has always keeps his promises to me and one of the biggest is to come home alive. If you don't know my dad is a marine and has been to Iraq multiple times. I have not lived with my dad, but for a short while, when I was little, but he always makes the biggest effort to see me as much as possible. He is always here for me no matter what. I am very proud of my dad for what he does as a living and I have the up most respect for him. Dad, I love you with all my heart and couldn't be prouder. Thank you for everything you have done.

    This kid, young man understands sacrifices.

    So as you go on today, and think this is just another day off of work. Another day to party. Another day off, to work around the house or do yard work. Think of the men, women and families that have sacrifice for you to have this time.

    Take a second out of your life, stop and thank those who have served, past and present. Thank a family member for supporting our Heroes. Stop and say a silent prayer for those who are still fighting. Stop and remember those who will never come home and the pain and agony there familes will forever endure.

    I know today, I am just eternally grateful I have Sniper home to enjoy the little things in life with. Thankful to share our family together.

    Dyzgoneby,
    Aka Mrs. Sniper

    Sniper, my darling husband, thank you for everything you have sacrificed for us, your family and your Country. I love you with all my heart and I will never take for granted anything we have or share together. I understand why you have made the sacrifices you have made. I Proudly stand here and support you in whatever life my have in store for us in the next chapter of our lives.

    posted by dyzgoneby at 5/28/2007 09:41:00 AM 3 comments

    Sunday, May 27, 2007

    Memorial Day Thoughts

    You Can't Tell a Vet Just By Looking - What is a Vet?

    Some veterans bear visible signs of their service; a missing limb, a jagged scar, a certain look in the eyes. Others may carry the evidence inside them; a pin holding a bone together, a piece of shrapnel -- or perhaps another sort of inner steel; the soul's alloy forged in the refinery of adversity. Except in parades, however, the men and women who have kept America safe wear no badge or emblem.

    The Vet is the cop on the beat who spent six months in Saudi Arabia sweating two gallons a day making sure the armored personnel carriers didn't run out of fuel.

    The Vet may be the barroom loudmouth, dumber than five wooden planks, whose overgrown frat-boy behavior is outweighed a hundred times in the cosmic scales by four hours of exquisite bravery near the 38th parallel in Korea.

    The Vet is the nurse who fought against futility and went to sleep sobbing every night in Da Nang. The Vet is the former POW who went away one person and came back another - or didn't come back at all.

    The Vet is the Quantico drill instructor who maybe never experienced combat, but saved countless lives by turning slouchy, no-account rednecks and gang members into Marines by teaching them to watch and protect each other's backs.

    The Vet is the wheelchair riding Legionnaire who pins on his ribbons and medals with a prosthetic hand. The Vet is the career quartermaster who watched the ribbons and medals pass him by but made certain every needed bullet found its way to the front line.

    The Vet is one of the three anonymous heroes in the Tomb of the Unknowns, whose presence at the Arlington National Cemetery must forever preserve the memory of all the anonymous heroes whose uncommon valor lies unrecognized with them on the battlefield or in the ocean's sunless deep.

    The Vet is the old guy bagging groceries at the supermarket -- palsied now and aggravatingly slow -- who helped liberate a Nazi death camp and who wishes all day long that his wife was still alive to hold him when the nightmares come.

    The Vet is an ordinary and yet an extraordinary human being -- a person who offered some of his life's most vital years in the service of his country, and who sacrificed his ambitions so others would not have to sacrifice theirs.

    posted by dyzgoneby at 5/27/2007 08:33:00 AM 0 comments

    Friday, May 25, 2007

    Diary of A Last and Final Flight Home

    February 17, 2007,

    0350: I was at curbside at 24th and M, Washington DC . 16 Degrees with a light breeze. Going home after my second week of freezing temps to my warm home in SoCal. Take a walk on the beach, ride a horse, climb a mountain and get back to living. I'm tired of the cold.

    0425: paying the taxi fare at Dulles in front of the United Airlines counter, still cold.

    0450: engaged the self-serve ticker machine and it delivers my ticket, baggage tag and boarding pass. Hmmm, that Marine over there is all dressed up in his dress blues a bit early this morning... "Good Morning Captain, you're looking sharp." He says, "Thank you, sir."

    Pass Security and to my gate for a decaf coffee and 5 hours sleep. A quick check of the flight status monitor and UA Flt 211 is on time. I'm up front, so how bad can that be? Hmmm, there's that same Marine. He must be heading to Pendleton to see his lady at LAX for the long weekend, all dressed up like that. Or maybe not. I dunno.

    The speaker system announces "Attention in the boarding area, we'll begin boarding in 10 minutes, we have some additional duties to attend to this morning, but we'll have you out of here on time."

    The Marine Captain has now been joined by five others. BINGO, I get it, he's not visiting his lady, he's an official escort. I remember doing that once, CACO duty. I still remember the names of the victim and family, The Bruno Family in Mojave - all of them, wows, that was 24 years ago.

    On board,0600:
    "Good morning folks, this is the Captain. This morning we've been attending to some additional duties, and I apologize for being 10 minutes late for push back, but I believe we'll be early into LAX. This morning it is my sad pleasure to announce that 1st LT Jared Landaker, USMC will be flying with us to his Big Bear home in Southern California. Jared lost his life over the skies of Iraq earlier this month, and today we have the honor of returning him home along with his mother, father and brother . Please join me in making the journey comfortable for the Landaker family and their uniformed escort. Now sit back and enjoy your ride. We're not expecting any turbulence until we reach the Rocky Mountain area, but we'll do what we can to ensure a smooth ride. For those interested, you can listen in to our progress on Channel 9."

    Click Channel 9: "Good morning UA 211. You are cleared to taxi, takeoff and cleared to LAX as filed."

    4 hours and 35 minutes later over Big Bear Mtn, the AB320 makes a left roll, a steep bank and then one to the right-Nice touch. Nice tribute. Five minutes out from landing, the Captain comes on the speaker : "Ladies and Gents, after landing I'm leaving the fasten seatbelt sign on, and I ask everyone to please yield to the Landaker family. Please remain seated until all members of the family have departed the aircraft. Thank you for your patience. We are 20 minutes early."

    On roll out, I notice red lights, emergency vehicles approaching. We're being escorted directly to our gate, no waiting, not even a pause. Out the left window, a dozen Marines in full dress blues. A true class act by everyone, down to a person. Way to go United Airlines for doing things RIGHT, Air Traffic Control for getting the message, and to all security personnel for your display of brotherhood. When the family departed the aircraft everyone sat silent, then I heard a lady say,"God Bless you and your family, and thank you." Then a somber round of applause. The Captain read a prepared note from Mrs. Landaker to the effect, "Thank you all for your patience and heartfelt concern for us and our son. We sincerely appreciate the sentiment. It's good to have Jared home."

    After departing the aircraft I found myself along with 30 others from our flight looking out the lobby window back at the plane. Not a dry eye. It was one of the most emotional moments I've ever experienced. We all stood there silently, and watched as Jared was taken by his honor guard to an awaiting hearse. Then the motorcade slowly made it's way off the ramp.

    I realized I had finally seen the silent majority. It is deep within us all. Black, Brown, White, Yellow, Red, Purple, we're all children, parents, brothers, sisters, etc - we are an American family.

    Official Report: February 7, 2007, Anbar Province, Iraq .. 1st LT Jared Landaker United States Marine Corps, from Big Bear California, gave his live in service to his country. Fatally wounded when his CH-46 helicopter was shot down by enemy fire. Jared and his crew all perished. His life was the ultimate sacrifice of a grateful military family and nation.

    His death occurred at the same time as Anna Nicole Smith, a drug using person with a 7th grade education of no pedigree who dominated our news for two weeks while Jared became a number on CNN. And most unfortunately, Jared's death underscores a fact that we are a military at war, not a nation at war. It has been said that Marines are at war. America is at the mall.

    1st LT Landaker, a man I came to know in the sky's over America on 17 February 2007, from me to you, aviator to aviator, I am unbelievably humbled. It was my high honor to share your last flight. God bless you.

    posted by dyzgoneby at 5/25/2007 06:30:00 PM 2 comments

    Saturday, May 05, 2007

    Wedding Photos



    Here they are at last. There is over 2000 photos taken that day & we still don't have all of them. Once I receive more, I will add them. I hope you all enjoy.

    Dyzgoneby,
    aka Mrs. Sniper

    posted by dyzgoneby at 5/05/2007 10:29:00 AM 7 comments

    Friday, May 04, 2007

    Fairytale Wedding

    Here is what everyone (well the 2 people who still follow this pathetic blog and Sniper too) is waiting for...details of the fairytale "Wedding." Sit back and grab a drink or two. Oh hell, just bring the damn bottle, you will need it, it will be a long one.

    It was just that, a FAIRYTALE come true. Sniper gave me everything and then some. He planned most of the wedding and did a superb, outstanding job.

    Most little girls dream of being a Princess the day they say "I Do." Not me, Sniper made me feel like a QUEEN. (Sniper, you really did give me everything that day and made me feel just how truly special I am to you. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart).

    Plans change, as they always do, and I ended up driving down to Fallbrook after work on Wednesday by myself. It was that "I can't wait another day" mentality. I am very happy we decided to have me drive instead. It made getting around easier and not having to rely on other's to drive me places.

    The morning of, I was an absolute wreck. As we, my baby sister, a friend of mine "Wisconsin" and I were leaving the hotel (did I mention he reserved a Spa Suite for us that was to die for) and we walked up to the Vallet window to retrieve my car and I became light headed, started seeing black spots and my heart was pounding beyond belief . I immediately sat down and put my head between my knees. Fortunately I didn't pass out, but this wasn't the last time that morning that feeling came over me. I was nervous, excited, anxious.....you name it, I felt it, except there was no cold feet. I just wanted the man of my dreams to be my husband.

    After my make-up was done, tuxes picked up (yep, they weren't ready the day before), we made it to Paradise. I hid out the remainder of the morning in the bedroom. When I was almost ready, there was a knock on the door. It was the youngest of the bunch, Roo. He had a card and a Rose for me, from his dad. It was addressed to me with my full, maiden name. The last card and Rose from him as his "Girlfriend/Fiance." I lost it. I had tried all morning not to cry and he did it with a heartfelt card and rose.

    Now, it is supposed to be the Bride who keeps the Groom waiting, but not this time.

    1300 was fast approaching and I was ready. Then another knock on the door (there was a shit load of them all morning), but this one was different. A few people were looking for something to stop the bleeding, Super Glue. "What bleeding?" From Sniper.....he shaved off his mole on his chin by accident and no one could stop the bleeding. It was those nervous hands that got the best of him. This continued on for quiet awhile.....All the while I am thinking....let's get this on the road before I "pass out."

    1325 I walk out to see my future husband standing at the alter. It was the most beautiful sight one could see. The man of my dreams standing there. The man I have dreamed of for so long to spend the rest of my life with. The man who has always held my heart in the palm of his hands. Standing there in his dress blues. After Lego Man walked me down the aisle to Sniper, he gave my hand to Sniper. Lego Man walked over to stand with the rest of the "groomsmen" (our kids).

    Master Guns was the one whom officiated the wedding. A few minutes into the ceremony, I turned my back on everyone and pulled a hanky out of the top of my dress (I didn't know where else to hide it), before I could use it, Master Guns took it from me. Yep, we already had him crying.

    Then came the reading of our vows. Sniper & I had decided a long time ago to write our own. I was first. He handed me a microphone. I told him I couldn't do it. I couldn't read my vows using it. (Yes, I had my on 3x5 cards. I knew I wouldn't remember a word if my life depended on it.) I took the mic and proceed with mine:

    Today, as I stand beside you, in from of our children (Bubba, Lego Man, Duder, Drama Queen & Roo) our family and friends, Bubba will not have to dig that hole. I stand before you freely and proudly.

    As a little girl I believed in fairy tales, Prince Charming, Cinderella, Knights in Shinning Armor and then I grew up and realized it wasn't true. That is until the day I met you.

    You are my sunshine, my ray of hope. You are my inspiration. You are my best friend, my true love, my soul mate. You are my Prince Charming, my Knight in Shinning dress blues, only, I don't need rescuing. I just need your love.

    Today, I, Dyz, take you, Sniper, to be my husband.

    I promise to encourage and inspire you.

    I promise to share in your dreams and support you as you strive to achieve your goals.

    I promise to listen to you with compassion and understanding and to speak to you with encouragement.

    I promise to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle, when life seems easy and when it seem hard. When our love is simple and when it is an effort.

    I promise to cherish you, to honor you and to always hold you in the highest regard.

    I promise to trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together.

    I promise to show you the world through my love.

    Today, I give you my hand, my heart, and my love unconditionally. I give myself to you in marriage from this day forward.

    Sniper's turn:

    He didn't write his vows (another suprise). He told me from his "heart" how he felt and what I meant to him.

    A few minutes later came another suprise from Sniper....

    From behind the alter (you will understand when you see the pics) I heard music. The start of "Bless the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts (this song sums up "us" in so many different ways, if you haven't heard it, Google it). Then, I heard the most beautiful sound and voice one could imagine, it was our nephew. He came around from the bushes and sang the song to us. Yes, I cried again. (Sniper has a way of giving me surprises from his heart. He may be a Marine, but I bring out the romantic side of him....Shhh don't tell anyone. He might hurt you if you do).

    After our nephew sang, we both gave him a hug and a kiss, and then went back to our spots.

    Master Guns took the hanky from me again. By this time, the three of us kept sharing it. (Whomever said Marines don't cry, are full of shit. Either that or they don't know us. There were quiet a few who had to "suck it up" from the ones at the tables, to the Marines in the Sword Detail).

    Then, Master Guns had us exchange our rings and pronounced us "Husband and Wife."

    Together, Sniper and I walked back down the aisle and through the Arch of Swords, only to get stopped by the Senior man. If you don't know anything about a Military Wedding, I was smacked square on the ass by this man's Sword and told "Welcome to the Marine Corps, mam." He had the most silliest smirk on his face. (Later I let him know, it didn't hurt....wrong thing to tell him, he did it again).

    But wait, there is more that transpired the rest of the day. Sniper still had a few more tricks up his sleeve.

    Pics came next and we never thought they we end. Just when we thought my father (he was our photographer) was done, there was another round. Finally, we finished, for now.

    After Sniper and I walked to our table, with all of our kids sitting with us, there was another card and rose. I opened the card addressed to "Mrs. Sniper." It was my first card and rose as his wife. Damn that man knows how to shower me with his love and is always keeping on my toes.

    Sniper and I surrounded the table with our children. At each chair, there was a bear with a necklace for each one of the kids and two jewelry boxes sitting on the table. On each necklace was a charm, a seahorse, with each one's birthstone in the tail. The charm was passed down from Sniper's father and we wanted to continue the tradition. (Before the wedding, Sniper and I decided we wanted to give everyone of our kids and us something to bring us all together, to bring our family together as one). Sniper relayed the story to our kids about where the Seahorse came from and what it means. When then placed the necklace around each one of them (I haven't taken my off).

    After dinner came the toast from the "Best Man" (Bubba). He gave the most heartfelt toast I have ever heard:

    As Sniper's (better known to me as dad) best man, please join me in a toast to the newlyweds.

    Actually, I have no idea why I'm the called the "best man" because as far as I know, no one pays the least bit of attention to a man in my position.

    You hear comments such as "Isn't the bride absolutely radiant?" which Dyz you absolutely are.

    Or comments like "Isn't the groom handsome?" I'm sure we can all be in total agreement with my dad, as to the truth in that comment.

    But do you ever hear anyone saying "Wow, have you noticed the best man, isn't he handsome...." No!!! Of course not, although I know you're all thinking it. I am my father's son after all. (Bubba raised his one eyebrow at this point, just like his dad does).

    Family, friends and guests, on a more serious note. Benjamin Franklin once said, "A single man, is an incomplete animal."

    Dyz, since you have re-entered my dads life, I have never seen him so happy and centered. Now he seems complete. Your lives blend together so beautifully.

    It wasn't an accident that you met and fell in love the 1st time, 16 years ago. Although your lives took different paths and down many, long lonely roads, it was destiny for the two of you to find each other and fall in love a second time. It wouldn't have been any other way.

    So we all lift our glasses to you both.....May God bless the broken roads that lead you back to each other.

    If you couldn't guess, Sniper and I both cried, just reading it again brings tears to my eyes.

    If you didn't know, this came from a 16 year old young man/man who is mature beyond his years. This young man has also held my heart since he was 8 months old. I always felt like he was my own and now I can call him "My SON." That day he stepped up to the plate and came out above and beyond anything I expected. I love you Bubba.

    From there, we mingled, took more pictures and then it was time to cut the cake. We both played nice. No smashing cake for either of us, we both had agreed long before this day. Sniper did take a dab of frosting and put it on my nose. He then kissed/licked it off very lovingly and sensual.

    Our first dance, was to Brad Paisley's "She's Everything." It was a perfect song. We danced and I felt like we were the only two people in the world. Sniper sang it to me while it played. (Did I tell you he can sing? Well....he can. One more thing you can't tell anyone).

    If I can ever figure out how to down load the video of it, I will share it. Duder captured it on our digital camera (I didn't even know how to work that feature). You will cry and at the end you will laugh your ass off. He captured a few things that I didn't realize he caught. Me grabbing Sniper in unnamed places and Sniper giving me a kiss that just about made me take my dress off right there. One of those, he ran his tongue from the top of the twins all the way to my mouth. WOW and oops, kids didn't need to watch that one. (Thank you Duder though from the bottom of my heart. The video captured "Our Love". One that you can feel all the way through the screen).

    The rest of the night was what you would expect at a wedding. A lot of people getting shitty ass drunk. There were only a few of us that stayed sober that night and I was one of them. (Sorry Sniper, I knew you were enjoying yourself and don't regret any of it. It was nice to see you relax and enjoy this time with your family and your Marine "Brothers.")

    Some of his "Brothers" shared some stories with me that night.

    "Crusher 4" gave me something else I never expected, a heart felt thank you for giving and doing something none of them could ever do, see or ever fathomed could happen, only something that I could do. Providing Sniper a sense of security, comfort and a healing hand/heart to him. They are seeing him heal and know it is because of me and "our" love we share. (OK, I cried a lot that night. Some just have a way of melting my heart).

    I can't tell you anything else that transpired from there on out. You would have had to been there and somethings, are just between a husband and wife.

    I am now a Wife, a Marine Wife, a Wife to the man I dreamed of for so many long lonely nights and a mom to 5 wonderful children. Life hasn't changed though, we are still living several 100's of miles apart and will continue until Sniper retires (more on that to come). I will continue to give you a peak at my life and our life from this side of the fence. The good, the bad and some that most people couldn't handle (but I knew that coming in).

    Hopefully, this weekend I will have pics up. My father took them at such a high resolution, that down loading them takes a good 2 minutes each and I will need to convert them to a lower resolution. Don't worry, depending on how I feel, which I probably will, I will try to post them by morning.

    Also, I will have to give ya'll a look at the first week all of us are together as a "family." Lots of good stuff. Until then......


    Dyzgoneby,
    aka Mrs. Sniper
    Sniper, I love you my dear husband and am looking forward to the next time I can hold you in my arms. Until then darlin', I will see you in our dreams.

    posted by dyzgoneby at 5/04/2007 09:40:00 PM 9 comments

    Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference. The Marines do not have that problem. President Ronald Reagan