Deja Vu

A few months ago I wrote the story about Sniper and I, and having the feelings of deja vu. Well it looks like I am not the only one. Sniper called me again today. Hot damn 4 calls in a week, that must be a record or maybe I just know the calls will be sparse for awhile. It's more like the later, duty calls. Anywho, we talked for 1 hour 16 minutes and 55 seconds, yep that timer on my phone works well. He is the one who it seems is having the deja vu about us. He is getting at the point where he can't get it out of his head that I won't be sticking around. He knows I love him, but he is starting to have flashbacks of me leaving him (silly little Marine, he can't get rid of me that easy). He is afraid I won't stick it out and it will be too hard on me. I will admit, I haven't said anything other than I am doing ok here at home. I haven't completely told him all of my feelings over the last 7 weeks and have kinda closed him off (that has never been something I have done to him. I have always been very forth coming with him. I have instead been keeping all those feelings written down in my journal, thanks Frankie). I didn't want him to worry about me. I decided to let him in on my world lately, just a little. I didn't want to scare the shit out of him. (I did enough of that telling him about the break in and he is still very upset over the whole situation. Especially since he couldn't be here to protect his princess. I would have felt sorry for the poor bastard who broke into my home if Sniper was here.). Well, today I told him it's been very hard, emotionally. I have cried my good share. I let him know I have a wonderful support system and am using it all. I wrote him a letter about a week and a half ago and told him there maybe a chance I won't be writing him everyday once I start studying, and not to worry. I am not going anywhere, I just don't want him to think anything was wrong. Well, he got it and read it. He says he understands I need to study, but it just got him thinking. I guess that means I will continue writing him every day, even if it is a simple "I Love You" written across the page. I have been in the habit of handwriting him letters daily (I think the only few days I have missed writing were on the weekends when mail isn't picked up). The letters are anywhere from 3 to 7 pages long. Yes, I can write/ramble. He also said he thinks I will get bored writing him and run out of things to talk about. Again, I think Sniper is being a little silly here, me run out of things to write about. I can write / ramble just as well as I can talk on the phone and he knows I can talk. He has had to tell me to keep my mouth closed a few times so he could finish his end of the conversation. I know I didn't ease his fears, only time can do that. When he sees me on the otherside of this he will know. I did get to talk to 2 of his guys with him. One is another Marine and the other is the Doc with them. I just love how I always meet his Marines in the middle of the night via phone. The three of them were all kicking back and relaxing the night away. Sniper's hooch is looking more like the local hangout. And who couldn't blame them with a frickin' huge TV in there and now a full size fridge, not including all the goodies and movies he has. Where the hell do they get this shit at? Doc told me the place is looking more and more like a movie theater.....Sniper has always had his connections. Sniper decided to share "our" story with them and wanted them to talk to me. (He has always done this at home when he is at the bar hanging out with his buddies, I 'm starting to see a pattern here. And no, they weren't drinking, there in IRAQ). I talked to Doc for awhile. He is a good guy. I did ask a favor of him, to put his boot up Sniper's ass and tell him to quiet having these stupid deja vu flashbacks. Doc said his boots were to small. I think he has to much respect for Sniper....damn. I get the next one on the phone and again ask him the same favor. Nope, it's a no go. I guess I am going to have to figure out another way to get it through his thick skull. I Love you Sniper!!!!! 379 days to go...... dyzgoneby