Inner Strength

I finally have reached the point in this deployment, where my head has finally realized Sniper's not coming home anytime soon and I am not a mess everyday. I am handling it well. I knew I could find my inner strength. I still have those moments, but they are further in between. I haven't heard from him in 9 days and the last time it went this long I was a mess. This time, I still walk around with a smile on my face and know he is ok. How do I know this? I have faith. Faith in him, faith in him as a Marine ( I really don't need this one, he is a damn good Marine) and faith in God. I think about him often and that makes me smile. I have finally turned the corner and have picked myself up and realized, life goes on. Don't get me wrong, I miss the hell out of him and dream of homecoming. When Sniper left, we both talked about how hard it would be on me. I knew it would be hard, just didn't realize how hard. It takes a very strong person to stand steadfast at home. I have now joined the league of the "The Few, The Proud, The One's Left Behind.....Admiring the view." At work there is a really sweet girl that works with me and every couple of days she tells me, "I don't know how you do it? I could never do what you are doing." You just do. If you love someone (and we all know how much I love Sniper) you will be there for him, you will support him. Your mind never falters, you have that love in your heart and that is what keeps you going. You know they are thinking about you and you are in there heart, even when you don't hear from them for long periods of time. I am already looking at the positives this deployment has given me. I have become closer to Sniper's mom and Bubba. This deployment has pulled us closer. I talk to them often. If Sniper was stateside, I don't think it would have happened this quickly. I believe it would have happened, just not this soon. I have gained a since of strength in me I knew was there, just hadn't surfaced in a long time. I don't put up with bull shit anymore. I don't dwell on the little things in life. I take nothing for granted. I am staying super busy and this helps. My job is going good, it's just incredibly busy. I go into work in the morning and look up and it's past the time I should have gone to lunch. Then it's time to come home. I love it. I get home and just want to sit from sheer exhaustion. I have so much piling up at home and have just been doing what's necessary. Speaking of necessities, I have a huge workshop this weekend (I do them twice a year) for my scrapbook business and I haven't done shit for it. I will have a few very long tiring nights this week. My moto lately "Put off today what you can do tomorrow." I don't think that's working. I can't keep putting it off any longer. Shit. "Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants it, everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, never... never forget it" *Edited the first sentence* dyzgoneby 366 days until Sniper's in my arms