To Sniper's Ex-Wife, Heather & Probably My Last Post

To Everyone else: I am sorry you have to endure what I am writing here. I have somethings that I need to say and get off my chest. Unfortunately for me, I am not anonymous anymore. Several family members and friends know who I am. They, I do not mind and truly enjoy having them read this side of my world and a look into Sniper's world through my eyes. However, there is someone who makes it very hard for me to post what truly goes on in my world. It's hard to express to you, my life, under a watchful eye, waiting to use what I say will be used against someone else. I am to the point where I will be taking down my blog soon. If choose to start another one up, email me and I will let you in, those who I choose to let see into my world. I am sorry this has to end this way, especially for me. This has been a wonderful support and outlet on my journey with Sniper on our lives together. I personally thank you each and every one of you, for all the support everyone has given to me and especially to Sniper. We both really appreciate it. To Heather: I am not sitting here and judging you, just like I ask you to not judge me. You don't know anything about me, who I am as a person or woman. I spoke with Sniper today, yes again today. See they were under a River City 1, as they have been more than not the last few weeks. If you don't know what that is, it is when a Military Member has been KIA (Killed In Action) or WIA (Wounded in Action) and all communication stops for 3 days. This morning, the River City 1 was lifted again. It was placed on, right after our last call on Friday. Just as a reminder, he is in a war zone. This is not a game with him sitting at home on a comfy couch, drinking a coke. Some clarification as to my communication from Sniper. Yes, I hear from Sniper more than most. It is not for a lack of trying on his part. He calls during the day, our time. Most people are either at work, school or choose not to answer their phone. He gives up his sleep to call home, but most of the time he seems to get the answering machine. See I am one of the last ones he calls, I am one of the last on his list. It's not because he doesn't love me, just others need to hear from him way more than I do, his children and his parent's. This I understand. I expect nothing less from him. We both know where his heart lies and that's all that matters. He knows, no matter what, I will answer the phone when he calls me . Sometimes though, it is just me he needs to talk to, but that is between him and I. Yes, he does tell me everything. He even told me this morning about his motomail from you. He has never hidden anything from me. Whether it is good, bad or indifferent, I know it all. We have always had that type of communication. You see, first and foremost he is my friend, my bestfriend. As friends we share are life experiences together and value each other's conjecture on life. Secondly, he is my companion, confidante, my kindred soul and I his. Let me reiterate, he told me about your motomail. I know everything that has transpired between you two, over the years. Even this year, when he was at your house, to visit his boys on his pre-deployment leave. All those years ago, 11 to be exact, I will tell you nothing happened in 1995. He took his wedding vows seriously, we both did. Marriage is sacred between two people who love each other. Both of us took our wedding vows very serious, not like you. Remember he tells me everything, I know what happened. All of it. And yes, I do know he loved you. Did being the operative word here, you both share a bond, two children together. That is all now, with nothing in between. We had a wonderful memorable day that day. Why? We talked, nothing more, nothing less. There where other people in the house that day, my 1 1/2 year old son, a few friends and I being 4 months pregnant with my, at the time, husbands baby. Even if nobody was there, which there was, nothing would have happened. He wanted to make your marriage work (we both know how that turned out). The one thing we have always had between us is great communication. We could talk about anything, be honest with the other and ask for a impartial opinion of the other. Even on our marriages, your marriage, he was committed to you, but that is hindsight now. I do not have to justify and/or rationalize Sniper's or my actions from that day, 11 years ago, but I will not sit back and let you slander or misconstrue anything that went on either. I will not sit idle. With that being said, I will not allow myself to be put in the middle or used as a pond in a chess game. This isn't about you or me, it should be only about the boys you two share. Nothing more, nothing less. You are re-married now and have been for a long time. I hope you and your husband have a wonderful, happy, long marriage together. I also hope someday all of us can all sit down, after he is home, and have a friendly conversation. One, where no one is putting on a facade. I sincerely mean that. The past is the past and it is time to move on. I ask a few things of you: First, please do not mention anything to the boys. That should be done on Sniper's own time and own way, not yours. There is reasons he has waited to tell them. Secondly, I ask for you to let him do his job, concentrate on what he needs to do, so he can come home in one piece. To all of us, all of his family and three boys. Life is too short and you have seen it with your own eyes how very close he has come. The choice is up to you. The Ball is now in your court.....not in mine. I have removed myself from this game you are trying to play. No, I have not left his side. I will never falter, he is my one true love and I his. Semper Fi, God Bless the USA and our Troops! Proudly Standing By My US Marine dyzgoneby