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    Name: dyzgoneby
    Location: California, United States

    I am married to a wonderful Marine and a mother of 5 darling children. Sniper has been home from his second tour in the Shitbox since July 2006. This will be my rants, raves and rumblings with my life with him as a Marine Wife, him dealing with life post Iraq and the Marine Corps next adventure for us. At times I may whine, I may cry and there maybe times I just don't make any sense and you think WTF. These are my feelings and my feelings alone. If you don't like what I have to say, click the "X" in the right corner and move on. Thank a vet for having that choice. If not, sit back and enjoy the peak into my crazy world.

    View my complete profile

    More About Us & My Favorite Posts

    • Things You Probably Don't Want To Know
    • Sniper & My Story
    • One Year Ago
    • A Fairy Tale Coming True
    • Fairytale Wedding
    • Sniper's Reply to The Ass Munch
    • Freedom Is Not Free
    • What We Take For Granted

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    • Engagement Pics
    • Wedding Pics
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    • Deployment Pics
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    Previous Posts

    • Please Lite A Candle
    • Definitions
    • Sunshine
    • DoD Identifies Marine Casualties
    • Feeling a Little Down
    • Rain, Rain Go Away & Don't Come Back Until Next Year
    • Brad Paisley
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    • Lots of Pain and a Really Big Baby

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    Monday, April 10, 2006

    To Sniper's Ex-Wife, Heather & Probably My Last Post

    To Everyone else:
    I am sorry you have to endure what I am writing here. I have somethings that I need to say and get off my chest.

    Unfortunately for me, I am not anonymous anymore. Several family members and friends know who I am. They, I do not mind and truly enjoy having them read this side of my world and a look into Sniper's world through my eyes. However, there is someone who makes it very hard for me to post what truly goes on in my world. It's hard to express to you, my life, under a watchful eye, waiting to use what I say will be used against someone else.

    I am to the point where I will be taking down my blog soon. If choose to start another one up, email me and I will let you in, those who I choose to let see into my world.

    I am sorry this has to end this way, especially for me. This has been a wonderful support and outlet on my journey with Sniper on our lives together. I personally thank you each and every one of you, for all the support everyone has given to me and especially to Sniper. We both really appreciate it.


    To Heather:
    I am not sitting here and judging you, just like I ask you to not judge me. You don't know anything about me, who I am as a person or woman.

    I spoke with Sniper today, yes again today. See they were under a River City 1, as they have been more than not the last few weeks. If you don't know what that is, it is when a Military Member has been KIA (Killed In Action) or WIA (Wounded in Action) and all communication stops for 3 days. This morning, the River City 1 was lifted again. It was placed on, right after our last call on Friday. Just as a reminder, he is in a war zone. This is not a game with him sitting at home on a comfy couch, drinking a coke.

    Some clarification as to my communication from Sniper. Yes, I hear from Sniper more than most. It is not for a lack of trying on his part. He calls during the day, our time. Most people are either at work, school or choose not to answer their phone. He gives up his sleep to call home, but most of the time he seems to get the answering machine. See I am one of the last ones he calls, I am one of the last on his list. It's not because he doesn't love me, just others need to hear from him way more than I do, his children and his parent's. This I understand. I expect nothing less from him. We both know where his heart lies and that's all that matters. He knows, no matter what, I will answer the phone when he calls me . Sometimes though, it is just me he needs to talk to, but that is between him and I.

    Yes, he does tell me everything. He even told me this morning about his motomail from you. He has never hidden anything from me. Whether it is good, bad or indifferent, I know it all. We have always had that type of communication. You see, first and foremost he is my friend, my bestfriend. As friends we share are life experiences together and value each other's conjecture on life. Secondly, he is my companion, confidante, my kindred soul and I his.

    Let me reiterate, he told me about your motomail. I know everything that has transpired between you two, over the years. Even this year, when he was at your house, to visit his boys on his pre-deployment leave.

    All those years ago, 11 to be exact, I will tell you nothing happened in 1995. He took his wedding vows seriously, we both did. Marriage is sacred between two people who love each other. Both of us took our wedding vows very serious, not like you. Remember he tells me everything, I know what happened. All of it. And yes, I do know he loved you. Did being the operative word here, you both share a bond, two children together. That is all now, with nothing in between.

    We had a wonderful memorable day that day. Why? We talked, nothing more, nothing less. There where other people in the house that day, my 1 1/2 year old son, a few friends and I being 4 months pregnant with my, at the time, husbands baby. Even if nobody was there, which there was, nothing would have happened. He wanted to make your marriage work (we both know how that turned out). The one thing we have always had between us is great communication. We could talk about anything, be honest with the other and ask for a impartial opinion of the other. Even on our marriages, your marriage, he was committed to you, but that is hindsight now.

    I do not have to justify and/or rationalize Sniper's or my actions from that day, 11 years ago, but I will not sit back and let you slander or misconstrue anything that went on either. I will not sit idle. With that being said, I will not allow myself to be put in the middle or used as a pond in a chess game. This isn't about you or me, it should be only about the boys you two share. Nothing more, nothing less.

    You are re-married now and have been for a long time. I hope you and your husband have a wonderful, happy, long marriage together. I also hope someday all of us can all sit down, after he is home, and have a friendly conversation. One, where no one is putting on a facade. I sincerely mean that. The past is the past and it is time to move on.

    I ask a few things of you:
    First, please do not mention anything to the boys. That should be done on Sniper's own time and own way, not yours. There is reasons he has waited to tell them. Secondly, I ask for you to let him do his job, concentrate on what he needs to do, so he can come home in one piece. To all of us, all of his family and three boys. Life is too short and you have seen it with your own eyes how very close he has come.

    The choice is up to you. The Ball is now in your court.....not in mine. I have removed myself from this game you are trying to play. No, I have not left his side. I will never falter, he is my one true love and I his.


    Semper Fi, God Bless the USA and our Troops!
    Proudly Standing By My US Marine
    dyzgoneby

    posted by dyzgoneby at 4/10/2006 05:38:00 PM

    Comments on "To Sniper's Ex-Wife, Heather & Probably My Last Post"

     

    Blogger Christy said ... (12:50 PM) : 

    That is just outright sad that some people can not or won't let you have your outting. But I have been there too so don't feel so bad. You know I want contact my lady. I am going to send you my email and whenever you need to vent you go right ahead. I don't mind one bit.

    I love you guys. You do take care of yourself and let me hear from you.

    I wish you and Sniper well! Good luck and keep in touch!

     

    Anonymous Anonymous said ... (1:58 PM) : 

    dyz,

    you rock girl!
    sniper is very lucky to have a woman like you standing behind him. it is clear the love and he have for one another and the ways your respect and honour one another as well. it is lovely to see that in a relationship... it will carry you thru your lives together more than anything else, i think.

    god bless you sweetie! i think of you and sniper often and he has my thoughts and prayers and gratitude. i will email you soon...

    ladybugkip (connie)

     

    Blogger Call Me Grandma said ... (3:28 PM) : 

    Good luck to you dyzgoneby.
    May God bless Sniper and may God keep him from all harm.
    We in the military blogging community hate to see you go.

     

    Anonymous Anonymous said ... (5:52 PM) : 

    someone has to be the bigger person. doesn't it feel good to know it's you. I love the saying "always take the high road"... and you did. Stay above it all.

     

    Anonymous Anonymous said ... (6:43 PM) : 

    Christy.....you should have received my email. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You know where to find me.

    To A Marine at Heart...Thank you also. Don't go to far. I enjoy corresponding with you. Hope you received my email.

    A Miliarty Mom....It's was hard for me to make this decision, one I didn't take lightly. I have found a wonderful support system through this. I feel like I know you, even though we have never met in person.

    Deezy....Thank you. I believe in the high road. Life is easier with it that way. See you on the boards.

    Again, Thank you all again. I have relayed the heartfelt thanks and support to Sniper.

     

    Blogger kbug said ... (8:26 PM) : 

    I hate that this happened and want you to know that I will continue to pray for Sniper's safety and for your peace of mind. Hang in there and try to find a way to come back to the milblog community, we we will most certainly miss you...

     

    Anonymous Anonymous said ... (4:14 PM) : 

    yep - got your email :)
    will definitely keep in touch!

    your ladybug friend
    [how sweet of you to recall i am a Marine at Heart]

     

    Blogger Household6 said ... (12:36 AM) : 

    Sorry to hear about this. I just started stopping by on a regular basis. I know how it feels to no longer be anon, it ended the friendship of me and another woman and damaged the friendship between our spouses.

    If you blog again and you feel comfortable please let me know at

    caliaphi - AT - AOL - DOT - COM

     

    Blogger julie anna said ... (7:42 PM) : 

    I will miss reading your blog! Good luck with everything. You and your family are in our prayers.

     

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    Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference. The Marines do not have that problem. President Ronald Reagan