8 Days to Homecoming

Hold on to your seat. I promised one heulluva rollercoaster ride and today it begins. Tuesday, July 11th, I received a call from Sniper. "Honey do you have your calendar handy." Me: "No, but I will find it." Sniper, gave me the dates of when he is coming home, July 18th or 19th. I looked down and the tears were flowing silently. That's one week from today. Oh my f*cking Gosh. I am thinking, I knew it. I f*cking knew it! I have had a gut feeling the last few weeks and my worst nightmare is coming true. I knew the next few weeks were going to be wild and crazy, but this shit can't be happening. I have something coming up on Friday planned that I have been planning for months (can't and won't change it). My Series 7 class is the week of the 17th and my Series 7 Exam is going to be sometime the week of the 24th. Sniper wasn't supposed to be home until sometime in August. I was going to get throught the next two weeks of hell, then start thinking about homecoming. Now, before you all go getting your panties in a bunch and thinking I am off my rocker. Please don't misunderstand what I am saying here. I am elated he is coming home, I want him home. I want him safe and sound, but I want to be able to see him at homecoming as well. Somebody upstairs is defiantely not playing nice with us. Who the hell did I piss off? Over the last few weeks, Sniper and I had talked about the what if he comes home in this time frame with everything I have going on. The plan was as hard as it was for the both of us to endure, I would not be there for homecoming if this happened. We would just wait until after everything is finished for me (the exam) and then we would have our own "homecoming." As I am talking to Sniper, my insides were being ripped to shreds. I am thinking, I have to be there for homecoming for him, as he kept telling me, "I know you and I know you are already trying to figure out a way to be there. I thought a lot about this before I called you, you have to take your class and exam. There is no choice here." Being there for homecoming is the one thing that I have promised him since we found out he was deploying, I would be there no matter what. We talked for a little while and then he had to go. He had more phone calls to make and let everyone else know. We hung up the phone, I walked over to my desk and lost it, completely. This whole thing is fucked-up beyond belief. It took me all of two minutes and I was crying hard. The ladies I worked with all came over and started talking to me. They knew everything that is going on and just couldn't believe the luck we have had. They asked me what I was going to do? I called my mom and asked her for her opinon. She listened to me cry and then gave it to me. "I have listened to you both for the last 6 months. You have to drop everything and be there for him." God I love that woman (I owe her so much more than I have given her the last few months). I am throwing everything out the window Sniper & I had talked about and I will be there. The only thing that will stop me from going, is me being six-feet under. I am going to HOMECOMING!!! Homecoming for the both of us means a lot of things differently and the same. I have told you his take and his wishes. Mine are a little different. I made him a promise for the last 7 + months and I am not breaking that promise. I saw him on that bus and I am going to see him off that bus, end of story. But wait there is more. See, I broke a promise 15 years ago to him. I promised I would be there for him when he graduated from boot camp. I broke that promise. You can read the story here again if you haven't read it already. I have had to live with the guilt and demons of every one of those choices I made all those years ago. I have had major deja vu's between this deployment and him leaving for boot. I should have been there for him then. Instead there was someone else in my place. This time I am going to be there for him. It is something I have to do for us. I hope this makes sense. I have already rescheduled my class to August and will take it then. Even if I wanted to take the class next week, I wouldn't be able to concentrate and it would be a waste of time. Him coming home and me sitting in a class. It just doesn't make sense. I have made all the travel arrangements to and from. Now, my question is how the hell am I going to concentrate for the next week? I have so much to try and plan and so little time. I have a banner already. Thank God, someone else had one from the group I belong to. Ok, being a female here, I don't have a outfit that I want to wear, I need a haircut, my nails need to be done...etc. I know he isn't going to give a shit about what I look like, hell he hasn't seen me in months and it's all good. I just want to know I looked my best for him. Kinda like going out on a first date all over again. Sit back and enjoy the ride this next week and a half, I promise it will be a good one. Oh ya, on top of everything else, Sniper has another boo-boo to love thanks to an IED. Found that one out today as well. I am sooo glad this shit is almost over for him. If not, at the rate he is going, he would be covered in scars or worse. 7 Days to Homecoming 2 Days to Homecoming Night Before Homecoming dyzgoneby I blew it today, I smoked and I don't give a flying rip. I couldn't take the stress. It's almost over! Yippy Fucking Ehh, Sniper's Coming Home!