Memorial Day and Sacrifices

Today, is about honoring those who have sacrificed their lives for our Country, this Country. Those who have made the ultimate sacrifice. Those who have made the sacrifices and carry their scars, whether visible or hidden. Those who have stood by and supported these men and women. I have had a family member who has at one time or another sacrificed his life for this Country. A grandfather (Army) who fought in WWII, a grandfather (Army) who fought in the Korean War, two of my uncles in the Air Force, my father (Marine) who fought in Vietnam, my dad (Army) who fought in Vietnam, my cousin (active Army) who fought in Iraq (leaving very soon again) and my husband (active Marine) who fought two tours in Iraq. I realize and understand how many sacrifices are Military and their families have made for us for the freedom we share. A concept most civilians whom do not have any connection to the Military (past or present) can truly grasp. I personally am eternally grateful for them. Years past, I looked at this weekend and today as just that, another weekend, with an extra day at home. I knew what Memorial Day was, but never truly grasped the whole concept. I was just your average US American that loved the fact, it was one more day off of work. One more day to have a barbecue and party with my friends and family. Not anymore. It didn't happen all at once, there were a few things that hit very close to home for me. After my cousin served for opening round in Iraq and came home, I saw the changed look in his eyes. That haunted look that will forever change the innocence in him. After, Sniper and I rekindled our relationship. I saw that same look in his eyes. I stood beside him for his last tour (which seemed like it would never end) and supported him. The long, lonely days and nights of waiting just to hear his voice and know he was ok, he was still alive. The phone calls home (which no one ever wants to hear), letting his family know, he was WIA twice (that rated him two purple hearts). The phone call letting us know, he was coming home WIA. Sniper made sacrifices, put his life on the line for his Marines and he is now in the process (on a PEB Board) of becoming medically retired and it will take some time. Time no one has any inclination as to. It may be a few months or longer. The price has been high for him, but they all came home. Me, I have stood by and watched silently the demons he fights inside and will continue to harbor for the rest of his life. I have held him on those long sleepless nights. I have held him when the demons get the best of him. I have held his hand or rubbed his back on those days when the haunted memories come back with no warning. I have stood beside him and watched the pain he goes through from the wounds that seem like they will never heal (it's been over a year). I have also, watched the sacrifices his family and children have made. His family silently standing beside Sniper and supporting him through the last 15 years he has given this Country. Our eldest, Bubba wrote something on his myspace the other day and it brought a smile to my heart and a tear to my eyes. He too has made such deep sacrifices. He wrote: Well my dad is my biggest hero no matter what he has always keeps his promises to me and one of the biggest is to come home alive. If you don't know my dad is a marine and has been to Iraq multiple times. I have not lived with my dad, but for a short while, when I was little, but he always makes the biggest effort to see me as much as possible. He is always here for me no matter what. I am very proud of my dad for what he does as a living and I have the up most respect for him. Dad, I love you with all my heart and couldn't be prouder. Thank you for everything you have done. This kid, young man understands sacrifices. So as you go on today, and think this is just another day off of work. Another day to party. Another day off, to work around the house or do yard work. Think of the men, women and families that have sacrifice for you to have this time. Take a second out of your life, stop and thank those who have served, past and present. Thank a family member for supporting our Heroes. Stop and say a silent prayer for those who are still fighting. Stop and remember those who will never come home and the pain and agony there familes will forever endure. I know today, I am just eternally grateful I have Sniper home to enjoy the little things in life with. Thankful to share our family together. Dyzgoneby, Aka Mrs. Sniper Sniper, my darling husband, thank you for everything you have sacrificed for us, your family and your Country. I love you with all my heart and I will never take for granted anything we have or share together. I understand why you have made the sacrifices you have made. I Proudly stand here and support you in whatever life my have in store for us in the next chapter of our lives.

Memorial Day Thoughts

You Can't Tell a Vet Just By Looking - What is a Vet? Some veterans bear visible signs of their service; a missing limb, a jagged scar, a certain look in the eyes. Others may carry the evidence inside them; a pin holding a bone together, a piece of shrapnel -- or perhaps another sort of inner steel; the soul's alloy forged in the refinery of adversity. Except in parades, however, the men and women who have kept America safe wear no badge or emblem. The Vet is the cop on the beat who spent six months in Saudi Arabia sweating two gallons a day making sure the armored personnel carriers didn't run out of fuel. The Vet may be the barroom loudmouth, dumber than five wooden planks, whose overgrown frat-boy behavior is outweighed a hundred times in the cosmic scales by four hours of exquisite bravery near the 38th parallel in Korea. The Vet is the nurse who fought against futility and went to sleep sobbing every night in Da Nang. The Vet is the former POW who went away one person and came back another - or didn't come back at all. The Vet is the Quantico drill instructor who maybe never experienced combat, but saved countless lives by turning slouchy, no-account rednecks and gang members into Marines by teaching them to watch and protect each other's backs. The Vet is the wheelchair riding Legionnaire who pins on his ribbons and medals with a prosthetic hand. The Vet is the career quartermaster who watched the ribbons and medals pass him by but made certain every needed bullet found its way to the front line. The Vet is one of the three anonymous heroes in the Tomb of the Unknowns, whose presence at the Arlington National Cemetery must forever preserve the memory of all the anonymous heroes whose uncommon valor lies unrecognized with them on the battlefield or in the ocean's sunless deep. The Vet is the old guy bagging groceries at the supermarket -- palsied now and aggravatingly slow -- who helped liberate a Nazi death camp and who wishes all day long that his wife was still alive to hold him when the nightmares come. The Vet is an ordinary and yet an extraordinary human being -- a person who offered some of his life's most vital years in the service of his country, and who sacrificed his ambitions so others would not have to sacrifice theirs.

Diary of A Last and Final Flight Home

February 17, 2007, 0350: I was at curbside at 24th and M, Washington DC . 16 Degrees with a light breeze. Going home after my second week of freezing temps to my warm home in SoCal. Take a walk on the beach, ride a horse, climb a mountain and get back to living. I'm tired of the cold. 0425: paying the taxi fare at Dulles in front of the United Airlines counter, still cold. 0450: engaged the self-serve ticker machine and it delivers my ticket, baggage tag and boarding pass. Hmmm, that Marine over there is all dressed up in his dress blues a bit early this morning... "Good Morning Captain, you're looking sharp." He says, "Thank you, sir." Pass Security and to my gate for a decaf coffee and 5 hours sleep. A quick check of the flight status monitor and UA Flt 211 is on time. I'm up front, so how bad can that be? Hmmm, there's that same Marine. He must be heading to Pendleton to see his lady at LAX for the long weekend, all dressed up like that. Or maybe not. I dunno. The speaker system announces "Attention in the boarding area, we'll begin boarding in 10 minutes, we have some additional duties to attend to this morning, but we'll have you out of here on time." The Marine Captain has now been joined by five others. BINGO, I get it, he's not visiting his lady, he's an official escort. I remember doing that once, CACO duty. I still remember the names of the victim and family, The Bruno Family in Mojave - all of them, wows, that was 24 years ago. On board,0600: "Good morning folks, this is the Captain. This morning we've been attending to some additional duties, and I apologize for being 10 minutes late for push back, but I believe we'll be early into LAX. This morning it is my sad pleasure to announce that 1st LT Jared Landaker, USMC will be flying with us to his Big Bear home in Southern California. Jared lost his life over the skies of Iraq earlier this month, and today we have the honor of returning him home along with his mother, father and brother . Please join me in making the journey comfortable for the Landaker family and their uniformed escort. Now sit back and enjoy your ride. We're not expecting any turbulence until we reach the Rocky Mountain area, but we'll do what we can to ensure a smooth ride. For those interested, you can listen in to our progress on Channel 9." Click Channel 9: "Good morning UA 211. You are cleared to taxi, takeoff and cleared to LAX as filed." 4 hours and 35 minutes later over Big Bear Mtn, the AB320 makes a left roll, a steep bank and then one to the right-Nice touch. Nice tribute. Five minutes out from landing, the Captain comes on the speaker : "Ladies and Gents, after landing I'm leaving the fasten seatbelt sign on, and I ask everyone to please yield to the Landaker family. Please remain seated until all members of the family have departed the aircraft. Thank you for your patience. We are 20 minutes early." On roll out, I notice red lights, emergency vehicles approaching. We're being escorted directly to our gate, no waiting, not even a pause. Out the left window, a dozen Marines in full dress blues. A true class act by everyone, down to a person. Way to go United Airlines for doing things RIGHT, Air Traffic Control for getting the message, and to all security personnel for your display of brotherhood. When the family departed the aircraft everyone sat silent, then I heard a lady say,"God Bless you and your family, and thank you." Then a somber round of applause. The Captain read a prepared note from Mrs. Landaker to the effect, "Thank you all for your patience and heartfelt concern for us and our son. We sincerely appreciate the sentiment. It's good to have Jared home." After departing the aircraft I found myself along with 30 others from our flight looking out the lobby window back at the plane. Not a dry eye. It was one of the most emotional moments I've ever experienced. We all stood there silently, and watched as Jared was taken by his honor guard to an awaiting hearse. Then the motorcade slowly made it's way off the ramp. I realized I had finally seen the silent majority. It is deep within us all. Black, Brown, White, Yellow, Red, Purple, we're all children, parents, brothers, sisters, etc - we are an American family. Official Report: February 7, 2007, Anbar Province, Iraq .. 1st LT Jared Landaker United States Marine Corps, from Big Bear California, gave his live in service to his country. Fatally wounded when his CH-46 helicopter was shot down by enemy fire. Jared and his crew all perished. His life was the ultimate sacrifice of a grateful military family and nation. His death occurred at the same time as Anna Nicole Smith, a drug using person with a 7th grade education of no pedigree who dominated our news for two weeks while Jared became a number on CNN. And most unfortunately, Jared's death underscores a fact that we are a military at war, not a nation at war. It has been said that Marines are at war. America is at the mall. 1st LT Landaker, a man I came to know in the sky's over America on 17 February 2007, from me to you, aviator to aviator, I am unbelievably humbled. It was my high honor to share your last flight. God bless you.

Wedding Photos

Here they are at last. There is over 2000 photos taken that day & we still don't have all of them. Once I receive more, I will add them. I hope you all enjoy. Dyzgoneby, aka Mrs. Sniper

Fairytale Wedding

Here is what everyone (well the 2 people who still follow this pathetic blog and Sniper too) is waiting for...details of the fairytale "Wedding." Sit back and grab a drink or two. Oh hell, just bring the damn bottle, you will need it, it will be a long one. It was just that, a FAIRYTALE come true. Sniper gave me everything and then some. He planned most of the wedding and did a superb, outstanding job. Most little girls dream of being a Princess the day they say "I Do." Not me, Sniper made me feel like a QUEEN. (Sniper, you really did give me everything that day and made me feel just how truly special I am to you. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart). Plans change, as they always do, and I ended up driving down to Fallbrook after work on Wednesday by myself. It was that "I can't wait another day" mentality. I am very happy we decided to have me drive instead. It made getting around easier and not having to rely on other's to drive me places. The morning of, I was an absolute wreck. As we, my baby sister, a friend of mine "Wisconsin" and I were leaving the hotel (did I mention he reserved a Spa Suite for us that was to die for) and we walked up to the Vallet window to retrieve my car and I became light headed, started seeing black spots and my heart was pounding beyond belief . I immediately sat down and put my head between my knees. Fortunately I didn't pass out, but this wasn't the last time that morning that feeling came over me. I was nervous, excited, anxious.....you name it, I felt it, except there was no cold feet. I just wanted the man of my dreams to be my husband. After my make-up was done, tuxes picked up (yep, they weren't ready the day before), we made it to Paradise. I hid out the remainder of the morning in the bedroom. When I was almost ready, there was a knock on the door. It was the youngest of the bunch, Roo. He had a card and a Rose for me, from his dad. It was addressed to me with my full, maiden name. The last card and Rose from him as his "Girlfriend/Fiance." I lost it. I had tried all morning not to cry and he did it with a heartfelt card and rose. Now, it is supposed to be the Bride who keeps the Groom waiting, but not this time. 1300 was fast approaching and I was ready. Then another knock on the door (there was a shit load of them all morning), but this one was different. A few people were looking for something to stop the bleeding, Super Glue. "What bleeding?" From Sniper.....he shaved off his mole on his chin by accident and no one could stop the bleeding. It was those nervous hands that got the best of him. This continued on for quiet awhile.....All the while I am thinking....let's get this on the road before I "pass out." 1325 I walk out to see my future husband standing at the alter. It was the most beautiful sight one could see. The man of my dreams standing there. The man I have dreamed of for so long to spend the rest of my life with. The man who has always held my heart in the palm of his hands. Standing there in his dress blues. After Lego Man walked me down the aisle to Sniper, he gave my hand to Sniper. Lego Man walked over to stand with the rest of the "groomsmen" (our kids). Master Guns was the one whom officiated the wedding. A few minutes into the ceremony, I turned my back on everyone and pulled a hanky out of the top of my dress (I didn't know where else to hide it), before I could use it, Master Guns took it from me. Yep, we already had him crying. Then came the reading of our vows. Sniper & I had decided a long time ago to write our own. I was first. He handed me a microphone. I told him I couldn't do it. I couldn't read my vows using it. (Yes, I had my on 3x5 cards. I knew I wouldn't remember a word if my life depended on it.) I took the mic and proceed with mine: Today, as I stand beside you, in from of our children (Bubba, Lego Man, Duder, Drama Queen & Roo) our family and friends, Bubba will not have to dig that hole. I stand before you freely and proudly. As a little girl I believed in fairy tales, Prince Charming, Cinderella, Knights in Shinning Armor and then I grew up and realized it wasn't true. That is until the day I met you. You are my sunshine, my ray of hope. You are my inspiration. You are my best friend, my true love, my soul mate. You are my Prince Charming, my Knight in Shinning dress blues, only, I don't need rescuing. I just need your love. Today, I, Dyz, take you, Sniper, to be my husband. I promise to encourage and inspire you. I promise to share in your dreams and support you as you strive to achieve your goals. I promise to listen to you with compassion and understanding and to speak to you with encouragement. I promise to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle, when life seems easy and when it seem hard. When our love is simple and when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you, to honor you and to always hold you in the highest regard. I promise to trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I promise to show you the world through my love. Today, I give you my hand, my heart, and my love unconditionally. I give myself to you in marriage from this day forward. Sniper's turn: He didn't write his vows (another suprise). He told me from his "heart" how he felt and what I meant to him. A few minutes later came another suprise from Sniper.... From behind the alter (you will understand when you see the pics) I heard music. The start of "Bless the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts (this song sums up "us" in so many different ways, if you haven't heard it, Google it). Then, I heard the most beautiful sound and voice one could imagine, it was our nephew. He came around from the bushes and sang the song to us. Yes, I cried again. (Sniper has a way of giving me surprises from his heart. He may be a Marine, but I bring out the romantic side of him....Shhh don't tell anyone. He might hurt you if you do). After our nephew sang, we both gave him a hug and a kiss, and then went back to our spots. Master Guns took the hanky from me again. By this time, the three of us kept sharing it. (Whomever said Marines don't cry, are full of shit. Either that or they don't know us. There were quiet a few who had to "suck it up" from the ones at the tables, to the Marines in the Sword Detail). Then, Master Guns had us exchange our rings and pronounced us "Husband and Wife." Together, Sniper and I walked back down the aisle and through the Arch of Swords, only to get stopped by the Senior man. If you don't know anything about a Military Wedding, I was smacked square on the ass by this man's Sword and told "Welcome to the Marine Corps, mam." He had the most silliest smirk on his face. (Later I let him know, it didn't hurt....wrong thing to tell him, he did it again). But wait, there is more that transpired the rest of the day. Sniper still had a few more tricks up his sleeve. Pics came next and we never thought they we end. Just when we thought my father (he was our photographer) was done, there was another round. Finally, we finished, for now. After Sniper and I walked to our table, with all of our kids sitting with us, there was another card and rose. I opened the card addressed to "Mrs. Sniper." It was my first card and rose as his wife. Damn that man knows how to shower me with his love and is always keeping on my toes. Sniper and I surrounded the table with our children. At each chair, there was a bear with a necklace for each one of the kids and two jewelry boxes sitting on the table. On each necklace was a charm, a seahorse, with each one's birthstone in the tail. The charm was passed down from Sniper's father and we wanted to continue the tradition. (Before the wedding, Sniper and I decided we wanted to give everyone of our kids and us something to bring us all together, to bring our family together as one). Sniper relayed the story to our kids about where the Seahorse came from and what it means. When then placed the necklace around each one of them (I haven't taken my off). After dinner came the toast from the "Best Man" (Bubba). He gave the most heartfelt toast I have ever heard: As Sniper's (better known to me as dad) best man, please join me in a toast to the newlyweds. Actually, I have no idea why I'm the called the "best man" because as far as I know, no one pays the least bit of attention to a man in my position. You hear comments such as "Isn't the bride absolutely radiant?" which Dyz you absolutely are. Or comments like "Isn't the groom handsome?" I'm sure we can all be in total agreement with my dad, as to the truth in that comment. But do you ever hear anyone saying "Wow, have you noticed the best man, isn't he handsome...." No!!! Of course not, although I know you're all thinking it. I am my father's son after all. (Bubba raised his one eyebrow at this point, just like his dad does). Family, friends and guests, on a more serious note. Benjamin Franklin once said, "A single man, is an incomplete animal." Dyz, since you have re-entered my dads life, I have never seen him so happy and centered. Now he seems complete. Your lives blend together so beautifully. It wasn't an accident that you met and fell in love the 1st time, 16 years ago. Although your lives took different paths and down many, long lonely roads, it was destiny for the two of you to find each other and fall in love a second time. It wouldn't have been any other way. So we all lift our glasses to you both.....May God bless the broken roads that lead you back to each other. If you couldn't guess, Sniper and I both cried, just reading it again brings tears to my eyes. If you didn't know, this came from a 16 year old young man/man who is mature beyond his years. This young man has also held my heart since he was 8 months old. I always felt like he was my own and now I can call him "My SON." That day he stepped up to the plate and came out above and beyond anything I expected. I love you Bubba. From there, we mingled, took more pictures and then it was time to cut the cake. We both played nice. No smashing cake for either of us, we both had agreed long before this day. Sniper did take a dab of frosting and put it on my nose. He then kissed/licked it off very lovingly and sensual. Our first dance, was to Brad Paisley's "She's Everything." It was a perfect song. We danced and I felt like we were the only two people in the world. Sniper sang it to me while it played. (Did I tell you he can sing? Well....he can. One more thing you can't tell anyone). If I can ever figure out how to down load the video of it, I will share it. Duder captured it on our digital camera (I didn't even know how to work that feature). You will cry and at the end you will laugh your ass off. He captured a few things that I didn't realize he caught. Me grabbing Sniper in unnamed places and Sniper giving me a kiss that just about made me take my dress off right there. One of those, he ran his tongue from the top of the twins all the way to my mouth. WOW and oops, kids didn't need to watch that one. (Thank you Duder though from the bottom of my heart. The video captured "Our Love". One that you can feel all the way through the screen). The rest of the night was what you would expect at a wedding. A lot of people getting shitty ass drunk. There were only a few of us that stayed sober that night and I was one of them. (Sorry Sniper, I knew you were enjoying yourself and don't regret any of it. It was nice to see you relax and enjoy this time with your family and your Marine "Brothers.") Some of his "Brothers" shared some stories with me that night. "Crusher 4" gave me something else I never expected, a heart felt thank you for giving and doing something none of them could ever do, see or ever fathomed could happen, only something that I could do. Providing Sniper a sense of security, comfort and a healing hand/heart to him. They are seeing him heal and know it is because of me and "our" love we share. (OK, I cried a lot that night. Some just have a way of melting my heart). I can't tell you anything else that transpired from there on out. You would have had to been there and somethings, are just between a husband and wife. I am now a Wife, a Marine Wife, a Wife to the man I dreamed of for so many long lonely nights and a mom to 5 wonderful children. Life hasn't changed though, we are still living several 100's of miles apart and will continue until Sniper retires (more on that to come). I will continue to give you a peak at my life and our life from this side of the fence. The good, the bad and some that most people couldn't handle (but I knew that coming in). Hopefully, this weekend I will have pics up. My father took them at such a high resolution, that down loading them takes a good 2 minutes each and I will need to convert them to a lower resolution. Don't worry, depending on how I feel, which I probably will, I will try to post them by morning. Also, I will have to give ya'll a look at the first week all of us are together as a "family." Lots of good stuff. Until then...... Dyzgoneby, aka Mrs. Sniper Sniper, I love you my dear husband and am looking forward to the next time I can hold you in my arms. Until then darlin', I will see you in our dreams.