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  • About Me

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    Name: dyzgoneby
    Location: California, United States

    I am married to a wonderful Marine and a mother of 5 darling children. Sniper has been home from his second tour in the Shitbox since July 2006. This will be my rants, raves and rumblings with my life with him as a Marine Wife, him dealing with life post Iraq and the Marine Corps next adventure for us. At times I may whine, I may cry and there maybe times I just don't make any sense and you think WTF. These are my feelings and my feelings alone. If you don't like what I have to say, click the "X" in the right corner and move on. Thank a vet for having that choice. If not, sit back and enjoy the peak into my crazy world.

    View my complete profile

    More About Us & My Favorite Posts

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    Saturday, June 23, 2007

    Letter to Govenor Arnold Schwarzenegger

    After being frustrated for over a year and watching the political game a certain Col has played with Sniper not receiveing his second purple heart (the one from his shoulder injury the it took 10 months to receive surgery on) and helping to destroying my husbands career, I decided to write a letter to my Governor & Congressmen. I don't know if anything will transpire from it, but I didn't know where else to turn as a Angry American. I am absolutely disgusted by the way "OUR" military is treated and I going to try every avenue I can to wrong a right.

    So, I thought I would share it with ya'll......


    To: The Honorable Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger
    The Honorable Congressman Daniel E. Lungren
    The Honorable Congressman Darrell Issa

    Gentlemen, I am writing these letters, not on behalf of my husband and not just as a spouse of a U.S. Marine, but as a disgusted American. Please forgive me for bringing these issues to you, but since I am not in the Armed Forces of the United States, I don’t know where else to turn for answers regarding what I see as a despicable injustice to a Marine who happens to be my husband. I will try not to rant and rave, however, these issues are very hard for me since I am a military supporter and I am now married to a Marine.

    The injustice that I am concerned with appears to be some personal vindictiveness and lack of professional leadership when it comes to awarding service members awards for honorable service and bravery. This past year my husband once again volunteered to lead 100 Marines into combat. These were not infantrymen who train to fight wars daily. They were Marines from over 15 different non-combat related job fields and only two Marines had prior limited combat experience. My husband was given these Marines seven days before deployment and led them into Iraq. Their mission was that of a Provisional Rifle Company, which is usually done by infantrymen whose job it is to train for combat patrols, raids and quick reaction force, the real “in your face” combat. My husband spent countless hours training these Marines to the best of his ability with such little time given to him. Just as soon as they arrived into Iraq, they started a turn over with the unit that they were relieving and began combat patrols. My husband lead these Marines on as many missions as possible and while inside of the wire he would take them and train them, using whatever he could find (unused buildings, wood to make barriers, makeshift IED’s, etc). My husband never let them down nor stopped training them.

    During his deployment my husband was wounded in combat on two occasions, and never once left his Marines. He stood there wounded and continued to fight and lead these young Marines until they were all safe and then he sought medical aid. He demonstrated such courage and determination that it flowed into his Marines and at the end of the deployment he was the only one ever wounded. When he was wounded on February 11, 2006 he received 16 internal and 8 external stitches for a shrapnel wound to his leg, but led his Marines on their very next mission on February 13, 2006. His second wound, which occurred on May 19, 2006, required surgery that was done on March 20, 2007. He was the first one out of bed, last one to sleep, the first one outside of “the wire,” and the last inside. That is what my husband did. He did not talk about leading Marines, he LED Marines just as many military “heroes” of our countries past. His selflessness and dedication to his Marines and the Marine Corps has been expressed to me by all of the Marines that I have met who were led by him. To them he is the type of Marine that they aspire to emulate, he is their HERO.

    But all of that came under scrutiny after the media frenzy following Hayditha. My husband was not there, but he was involved in a shooting which turned the tide on him due to all of the media and political attention. The climate seemed to be as if everyone wanted to cover their behinds and lost focus on the mission and taking care of their own, as my husband puts it. He was investigated for one “Escalation of Force” incident three different times. And during all three investigations he was found not guilty. But the investigations were not for killing or hurting anyone. They were about him firing two rounds into the dirt as warning shots to stop a fleeing vehicle, which almost ran over one of his Marines. The powers in place in his command became weary of him and since the incident was not written in the Command Operations Centers log book, 12 miles away from him. When questioned, my husband told the investigators what had happened and that he did order his radio operator to make the call. The radioman acknowledged the order and reported that it was done. Regardless of where the ball was dropped he did not hurt or kill that Iraqi. His warning shots saved his life, as well as showed my husbands ability to think and act under stressful combat conditions and make the right choice.

    My husband is not a “politically correct” type of Marine. He has openly told me that he is not a well liked Staff Non Commissioned Officer. His Marines have told me that it is due to his fearlessness to tell someone what the need to know, not what they want to hear when it comes to missions or his Marines. However, he takes his orders and completes his missions, first and foremost.

    Since his return I have been able to meet over 30 of the Marines that he has lead in battle. All of them have told me the stories of “Their Staff Sergeant” who took care of them, trained them, and led them. I was told of a promise that he made to the Marines prior to them deploying when my husband said, “I will bring you all home!” As I listened to these words I witnessed the tears coming from a young Sergeant’s eyes. He then said, “Staff Sergeant Sniper IS A HERO! He is my Hero. And what happened and is happening to him is wrong and he should be recognized.” At the time I, did not know what this Marine was talking about so I asked my husband. He told me how the Company Commander that he worked for (Capt Tadd Vanyo of the 2/136th Combined Arms Battalion, Army National Guard) had submitted my husband for his second Purple Heart and the Bronze Star with Combat “V” for heroism. My heart filled with pride, but it was quickly flushed away with dismay and disbelief. My husband continued by telling me that after the investigations, the Commander of that base went into the administration office and had the Marines discard his awards. I asked my husband how he knew that had really happened and he told me that a senior Marine that was present contacted him and told him what had occurred. I told my husband that to me he was a “Hero!” And his words back to me truly showed the man, Marine, and leader that he is. He said, “Honey, I am not a Hero, I’m just a patriot!”

    At present my husband is awaiting the findings of his Physical Evaluation Board to see if he will be medically retired due to PTSD/depression and other injuries. When I inquired about his depression in a session with his doctor I found out that it has to do with the character assassination of my husband, the perception of him created by these investigations, and the abandonment of him by his command. He has not been awarded his second Purple Heart for wounds which occurred during a fire fight or the Bronze Star with Combat “V” device which his commander desired to recognize his actions with. These awards are just gone. He has dedicated fifteen and a half years to the Marine Corps and to this Country. It must be horrible to feel like he does after giving so very much. I talked with my husband about this and all he will say is “Honey, they must not think that I deserve them.” Well I can not believe that. I can not believe after all that he has done for this Country, the Marine Corps, his command, and his Marines that he deserves anything but respect and recognition. I can not fathom that his awards were just discarded because of someone’s personal agenda, just in case his issue became Hayditha II. And as the investigations have shown, it didn’t. He did not receive an adverse fitness report, nor was he relieved of his command or duties. He was not charged and found guilty of anything. So his service was honorable. I asked my husband what he could do about it and he told me nothing. He did not whine or whimper, he just said there is nothing that can be done, and to move on. I am sorry, but as an American who supports our troops, who do what this country asks of them, I can not accept that there is nothing that can be done to correct this monumental wrong done to my husband. He has led and bled for the United States and in the end I feel as if his actions and bravery are being discounted.

    I have spoke with many Marines and Sailors who have served with my husband who all have told me that there is something that needs to be done. So here I am, coming to you to seek an understanding of how such a thing could happen to someone like this Marine, who is my husband, and to ask if there is anyway to fix this atrocity against a true American “Hero.” A way to award him for the service that he has given his Marines, his Corps, and his Country.

    My husband is still stationed at Camp Pendleton awaiting the resolution of his medical board, but has made plan to come to Sacramento for the July 12th “Freedom Is Not Free” function on the west lawn of the State Capitol for California’s Iraq & Afghanistan Purple Heart Recipients. I will be standing right next to him, along with our children and his family. I hope that you will be able to answer my questions by then and if you are at the function it would be my pleasure to meet you.

    Sincerely,

    Dyzgoney

    Encl: (1) Casualty Information Worksheet
    (2) Medical Disposition Records
    (3) Summary of Action to award the Bronze Star with combat “V” device
    (4) Excerpts from the Secretary of the Navy Awards Manual
    (5) Contact List of Marines that served with my husband
    (6) DVD video about my husband


    Again, I am hoping something will come of this injustice. I will try to link up the video and if Sniper is ok with it, the Summary of Action to award the Bronze Star with combat "V" device. Both of these have brought tears to my eyes and a since of pride, knowing that MARINE, that MAN is my husband. I love you Sniper.


    Dyzgoneby

    posted by dyzgoneby at 6/23/2007 08:24:00 AM 4 comments

    "Mohawk" Marines



    Just a little more insight into Sniper and his world.

    Dyzgoneby

    posted by dyzgoneby at 6/23/2007 08:00:00 AM 2 comments

    Wednesday, June 13, 2007

    Inner Struggles

    Unsure of where I belong.

    As a wife of a Marine in a Civilian world.......

    I feel like I don't belong. I have a husband whom just happens to be a active duty Marine, living 100's of miles away. Civilian's who have never lived in this life or have a family member in the military, have no fucking clue what it is like. They can't truly fathom or understand what it is like living in this world.

    Coming home from a long day at work and not having your husband to wrap his arms around you, kiss you and just melt all the stress away. I sit here so far away from my husband and miss him so much it hurts. On days like today (which is more times than not), that is all I want. The touch of him just melts all my stresses away, warms my body and heart and makes me forget about everything.

    Fixing a meal, by yourself, for your family. Then sitting down to eat together, with a empty chair where your husband should be. Hearing our children talk about there day and laughing with them. Then looking over and still staring at that empty chair and realizing how much you want him to share in it with you. Laughing with the kids, as they try to clean up the kitchen afterwards, all the while wishing he was hear to laugh with us.

    Helping our kids with there homework and knowing this is something Sniper does when he is home. Watching the kids play video games together as a family and looking over to the empty spot on the couch where he usually sits and watches with us.

    Climbing into bed at night by yourself, knowing he's not there to lay your head on his chest. Cuddling up with his pillows, just to catch a smell of his scent. Thinking he is 100's of miles away doing the same thing.

    It's pretty damn lonely and there is no one around who understands what it is like.....

    Then you have the endless questions that I am so sick and tired of hearing: When is Sniper retiring? When is he coming home? Are you moving down to San Diego? When is the next time you will see him? When is the next time he will be here? How do you do it?

    I hear these questions, so many times a day, it makes me sick to my stomach. I know people mean well, but inside I am just screaming, "Don't you think IF I KNEW the FUCKING answer, you would know!" "Don't you think IF I knew something, anything, I wouldn't be screaming it at the top of my lungs!"

    They just don't get it and I have no one around me who I can relate with.

    I have no sympathy for them because there spouse is going away on a business trip for a few days and they have to take care of the kids and house by themselves. I don't care and don't give a shit that there spouse locked there keys in the car and now they are whining because they have to take the spare keys to them. I don't have empathy for all there whining bullshit about there day to day lives with there spouse and the petty bullshit.

    On the other side as a Marine Wife....

    I again, feel like I don't belong to that world either.

    I don't understand much about how the Marine Corps work. (I am learning, but by the time I have anything of substance down, Sniper will be retired.) When Sniper talks about different aspects of his job or what is going on or this whole fucking PEB retiring shit, I understand very little. That means I have to ask lots of questions. I know Sniper gets frustrated with me, especially when I ask the same question a few times over (mind you he has already answered them at another time), but again, I am learning and there are somethings I just don't fucking understand or comprehend.

    I am not able to share with him anything that deals with him and the Marine Corps. I don't feel like I am part of that life, his life, when it comes to the Marine Corps and that is a majority of what his life is and who he is.

    I am not there for him after a long day at work, to come home to and vent to. He keeps a lot (Sniper, you do more than you realize) to himself or vents to other's around him. I just don't understand that part of his life. Yes, we have the phone we communicate on, but that's not the same, especially when one hates talking on the phone.

    I am not able to share with Sniper all the day to day activities he does or anything his command does for the families.

    I don't understand much about base life. The few times I am down there, I feel like a lost puppy. I don't want to ask for help or directions because then I feel like other Marines just look at me as another "Delta Whiskey" (Dependent Wife). You know, the ones who sit on there fat lazy asses all day, do nothing, don't hold a job, spend there husbands money, wait for him to deploy and go fuck another Marine. (Sorry if I offend anyone, I am not trying to, but I know a few who fit into this or Marines who's ex-wives fit into this category. OK more than just a few)

    I don't have the connections with other Marine Wives. I am not around other Wives whom I can relate with. Those who understand what it is like.

    The only things I can really tell you about is what "Hurry up and Wait" is, the Marine Corps does things at there own pace and deployments suck ass.

    So you see, inside, I feel like I don't know where I belong, where I fit in. I can't relate to either world....

    I feel like I am stuck in limbo. I feel like I am in a deep dark cave and can't find my way out and there is no light to guide me. I am just maneuvering around by touch. And some days, I just feel like I wish the cave would just swallow me up.....

    Please don't misunderstand me. I am happily married and I wouldn't change marrying Sniper for the world. He is everything to me and means more to me than life itself. Life is just lonely and I would give anything to see some glimmer of a light in this cave I/we live in.....


    Dyzgoneby
    Sniper, I love you with all my heart, my darlin' husband. See you in my dreams.

    posted by dyzgoneby at 6/13/2007 08:50:00 PM 6 comments

    Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference. The Marines do not have that problem. President Ronald Reagan