It's All Good

Yep, today was just another day. Sniper recently sent me a slide show he had put together from Iraq. One with the video on it. The one the fucking stupid dumb ass Iraqis had taken when he was blown up. Along with several pictures he had taken of himself, SSgt R (the one who was hurt in the IED blast with him and currently still on life support), and his Marines. He did a great job of putting it together. (I haven't decided if I want to post it yet. It's all very raw and personal right now. I will talk to Sniper about this one.) It was hard to watch. I have relieved that day over and over again in my dreams. No, I wasn't there, but I saw it happen thanks to technology. He had included pictures of the after effects, his wounds being stitched up (very graphic) and receiving his purple heart. I brought it to work today to show Gunny (my boss and partner). I wanted someone else to share it with me. Someone who would understand all the feelings I have as I watched it. Pride for what he is doing for our Country and Iraq. Courage as I watched him being stitched up and back out on a Mission right afterwards. Honor as I watched the Purple Heart Pinned on his chest. Sadness for knowing how close he came that day. Loneliness for seeing the only glimpse I have had of him in a long time. Heart Ache as I listened to the music and understood the feelings and meaning behind it. Gunny watched it with me and afterwards said thanks. Thank you for reminding him that life isn't bad at all and everything around us is trivial compared to what him and other's have been through. He talked for awhile about how it doesn't matter when you get out, what you have done, seen or been through. What awards, medals you have earned. People in general just don't give a shit. People in general just don't care. Only those of us who have been there or are supporting a loved one can truly understand the sacrifices they make and truly care. Gunny served and retired after 21 years in the Marine Corps. He was there and wounded in Beirut and again through Somalia and wounded a second time. He made a promise to Sniper before he left, that he has my six, I am part of his family (I didn't comprehend the magnitude at the time, but I get it now). I rely on Gunny more than he will ever know. He is my rock and one of a few angels (and Wingman) I have. Several times he has came in and knew by looking at me what was going on in my world. Yesterday was no different. He took one look at me and brought me in his office. Just by looking at me, he thought Sniper was hurt again. No, just my insides were being ripped apart. He let me talk and cry for a long time. He listened. I could see the pain on his face. I knew he was remembering what he has tried for so long to forget. It is hard for me to find anyone who I can physically talk to who understands. Someone who has been there, done that or doing it. Lately I have needed to have someone who has been through a deployment or two to guide me on what to expect, what to say and what not say or how not to react. Neither of my fathers will talk about there time in Hell to this day, but every once in awhile they will look at me and tell me they understand. After Gunny and I talked today and I was getting ready to go home, he looked at me and said "It's All Good." "Yep, It's all Good and welcome to Hell", was my reply. dyzgoneby 311 days to go until this hell ends and another one begins